Immortal Beloved
by ChalakChalak
Summary: What happens when two very different people try to find common ground with one another? Is such a love possible for Chiaki and Nodame?
1. Chapter 1

This kinda of planted itself on my mind and wouldn't let go so I had to write it down. I'm not sure where this is going but it will go somewhere...Anyway, the story will be funny at points because I believe this is one of the couple's greatest strength but it will get sadder later on. Yay for character development!

Read on please.

* * *

She had become a habit. Her 'gyabos' and her 'muckyas' rang through the air often enough for him to not pay much attention anymore. He didn't mistreat her as much as he used to, except for the occasional slap against the forehead when she said (or did) something extremely stupid. Her apartment was still next to his, even in France which only led her to leech off him just easily as before. Her piano playing was still as radical as ever but she had calmed down enough to play the pieces the right away at least once in a while. He never tired of hearing her play though; that would never change.

In all, _they _as they were had not changed at all.

Or at least that was what Chiaki Shinichi thought.

In reality, he had changed most of all. His conducting was known well around the University and he was under the tutelage of the best teachers the University had to offer. Everything was going according to how he had always dreamed. But then one day…

It had been a sunny day in Paris. Like all sunny days in the city, the people had taken the time to sit out in the verandas and pass the time away, drinking, talking, and laughing the day away. Birds sang shrilly, there wasn't a single cloud in the sky, and though the sun shone down harshly on the Parisians, a gentle cooling breeze aided the comfort of the day. However, instead of enjoying the incredible day outside, Chiaki had found himself stuck inside his smoke filled apartment with Nodame screeching about.

"Fire, fire! Gyabo."

"Shut it!" he finally yelled, going to the window and opening it roughly. He stuck his head out and breathed in the cool air, closing his eyes and trying to gather patience to deal with the panicking woman inside. Finally, hair slightly disheveled, he stuck his head back and spotted her with a fan, trying to calm down the fire at the stove. The chicken was beyond repair and the juice that was supposed to stay in the pan evaporated into the Paris atmosphere. The potatoes were also burned to a crisp and excreting a dark, nasty odor. So much for the _Emincé de Volaille sauce Roquefort - Pommes de terre sautées. _

The dish Chiaki had chosen for Nodame to make had been excruciatingly simple and yet the end result was a pile of charcoal. She had insisted and at the end of the night, _demanded_ that she would cook the day after. So being tired from a long day, Chiaki had reluctantly agreed only because her face had shown signs of the child like sadness she had exhibited once before, when she had brooded about playing Rachmaninoff with an orchestra. So he relented and had picked a simple meal of chicken and potatoes, sautéed in Roquefort sauce and green beans. Yet the end result had been a small fire on the stove.

"Relax," Chiaki muttered to Nodame who pouted in the corner of the kitchen, "We have more chicken and vegetables. We can try again."

As if in slow motion, her sad face drooped away and was slowly replaced by the shining smile she always seemed to wear. She clapped her hands and jumped behind Chiaki, wiggling her arms around his waist to hug him. He didn't shake her off nowadays; he was used to it. She washed the burnt dishes by the sink, keeping a streamline of chatter about whimsical things. She insisted there was a special on Puri Gorota on the BBC chanel though Chiaki highly doubted such a channel would even know of such a show. Still, her voice, like her piano was something he had gotten used to for some time now.

As he spied on her from the corners of his eyes, every movement she made he knew. The way she cut the potatoes with nimble fingers, thanks to years of piano playing. The way her eyes spread back and forth from the pans to the pot and back to the pans, as if reading a score. The way her mouth pouted in a ridiculous sort of way as she concentrated on taking out the chicken fillets out of the pan. Every habit he knew and though he would never admit it, he felt a sense of pride in knowing her that well.

Finally, when most of the meal had been cooked and was now simmering, Nodame happily announced she would do the dishes. She hummed the tune she was currently learning for a piano exam as she poured water over the dirty dishes, her head and hair swinging back and forth with the rhythm. Her hair had grown an inch or so, not enough to be noticed by anyone else except Chiaki but he kept his eyes on the hypnotic rhythm of the sweeping auburn blur of her hair. Then it happened. Suddenly and without a single sense of warning.

There, on the side of her neck was a spot as normal as the rest of her neck. Lily white, soft, and flawless—but it called out to him like the chords of the multitude of scores he digested every day. If there had been an orchestra behind him, it would have played a great crescendo and held it for as long as Chiaki held his throat. The strands of hair swung back and hid that tantalizing piece of flesh for a few seconds before they went on their way and exposed it once more. His throat went dry.

_What the hell was wrong with him?_

Her head turned and her mouth made the shape of an O. Utter silence passed between them for a second before she spoke again.

"Didn't you hear me, Shinichi?" she said with a tilt of her head, "The chicken…"

"Eh—"

The smell of smoke rose again and he all but jumped on the stove to turn off the flame. He sighed heavily, feeling as if he had run a mile. He kept his eyes on the slightly burned chicken and shook off the hand on his shoulder. She drew back for a second before sticking her head between him and the chicken, inspecting it. She stuck her finger inside the pan and drew a drop of sauce on her finger, bringing it to her mouth and suckling innocently.

Chiaki chocked on his non-existent saliva.

"It's ok, it's ok," she sang to him, a smile splitting her face. She tried to get him to taste some but he shook her away, telling her to get everything ready.

"Hai!" She exclaimed, singing how she cooked the meal by herself. He had half a mind to reply to her that 'no she hadn't cooked the meal herself' but he couldn't bring himself to look at her.

What the hell had happened to him? What the hell was that spot on her neck? Why the hell was he so nervous? It was Nodame. Nodame. Weird, sometimes dirty but definitely a pervert Nodame. When had she gotten that spot on her neck? Why did he have a sudden urge to see how it smelled, how it tasted---

He shook his head violently and Nodame thought it was because of the kotatsu that now resided on his table.

"Ma, ma…" she said calmingly, "You like the kotatsu, yes? Remember, it's all warm and comfortable…ahoooo."

She hummed the last part, getting under it and wrapping it around her like a comforter. She placed the plates of food down and with her hands urged him to sit. He stood standing for a couple of seconds before complying. She was still the same right?

It was still Nodame right?

"I'll feed you for today since I'm your wife. Hya…"

Chiaki gave her a firm slap on the forehead as smiled softly as she 'gyabo'd' and rubbed the offended spot.

She was still Nodame.

Right?


	2. Chapter 2

I hadn't planned on continuing but then the plot bunnies planned an attack on me and held me hostage until I brainstormed the rest of the story. So here it is, kiddies...

Since, unfortunately, I have no money to buy the tenth and eleventh mangas, I have no clue what's happening. So I'm making it up as I go so that'll make this fic…alternate universe…? Besides, I have no clue where I'm taking this story so that kinda puts me in a tight spot as well. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

The offending spot remained on her neck; it seemed to Shinichi, to torture his life. Now that he had noticed it, the spot called out to him, tantalizing him to go toward that piece of flesh and… 

And what?

The last part had him completely confounded. What was he to do with that piece of skin? It was everywhere. When she walked, ate, slept, ate, talked, ate—he couldn't get rid of it and he was sure Nodame had begun to notice. She looked at him weirdly the other day and had tiptoed to take his temperature, insisting that he was studying too hard for his own good. Her eyes had that worried glint whenever Shinichi felt bad in any way. He brushed it away as nothing but it had him worried as well. Nodame was the total opposite of him in almost every way. While he was meticulously clean, she was the biggest pig he had ever met in his life. He loved to study, especially scores. Though he was very interested in piano as well as the violin, there was something about an orchestra and the way it came together to form a sound that a single instrument could never obtain. He got so engrossed in the different sounds, the way each harmony blend into the next, the brass section's high, perfected sounds, the woodwinds softer accompaniment… he couldn't think of anything else and worked his hardest to have the result be absolute perfection. Nodame, meanwhile, ran away from anything of the sort, preferring to wing it at the moment. Serious, solemn, and hardworking, Shinichi couldn't find any of those traits in her. But at the same time, the exact opposite traits Nodame contained were the ones he couldn't imagine living without.

Not that he'd ever let her know that.

So what place did the spot take? What did that spot represent? Did it really matter? He decided it did not. He made it a point to spend less time thinking about it and more time focusing on his goal which was arriving closer than expected. He hadn't conducted a single piece since arriving in France but he had impressed quite a few teachers with his skills and previous work, thanks to those who had seen him and helped him out.

A new teacher spoke of his interest in him a few weeks ago and just two days ago, Shinichi had gotten word that this new teacher wanted to meet him in a few days. He was truly excited about that. This new teacher had a great reputation as a conductor and had many pupils study under him. Shinichi hoped he would grow even more under his guidance.

As Shinichi woke up to go to school that day, he spent the morning on making a good breakfast for both him and Nodame. They had a major exam that day and had to be well prepared for it. While Shinichi had studied the entire week before, Nodame had promised she would cram the day before but in reality, she had lied through her teeth. Instead, she had gone to a small get-together with a couple of her new French friends. Shinichi was still surprised how fast she had learned the language and had gotten quite a shock when he found out how. It seemed that Puri Gorota was quite popular in France as well and all the episodes, movies, and songs had been translated into the French language. His eye had twitched repeatedly after hearing her sing the opening song of Puri Gorota in impeccable French a few weeks ago. Still living next to him, sometimes it felt as if they hadn't moved at all from Japan. She still leeched off him, still astounded him with her strange thoughts and actions and he still got irritated at her weird sounds. The newest one seemed to be one she was very fond of lately, yelling 'sacre bleu!' all over the place. However, Shinichi had immediately denied her invitation to accompany her and though she begged and pleaded most of his study time away, she had hung her head and resigned to go by herself.

"What if something happens to me?" she insisted as she was pushed very rudely out the door. Her hands locked down on the doorsill and wouldn't pry for anything. The very foundation of the building seemed to shake as she struggled against him.

"What if some man—" she struggled against Shinichi's pushing, "some handsome, rich man wants to come and whisk Nodame away?"

"Then I feel very sorry for that man," Shinichi responded and gave a hard tug to her waist, finally releasing the crab like hold on his door. Despite her whining, she had been thrown out of his apartment rather harshly. Sighing, Shinichi didn't feel the slightest remorse at not accompanying her. She had promised when they first arrived in France to put music as their first priority and everything else would come after. Shinichi kept that part of the deal fine but she seemed to have trouble doing so. She had not touched the piano until they entered school and had gotten yelled at for playing so sloppily the first few times. She had taken it in stride, pushing it aside as if it was no big concern but Shinichi had taken care of that. He had bribed her with delicious food and once she had fallen for the bait, he had given her the scolding of a lifetime and made her play her designated piano piece for five hours straight. Though she had cried her heart out in the midst of calling him the music Hitler of the century, she had gotten better grades because of it.

After long hours of studying he had fallen asleep very late and had not heard her get in. The nights in Paris were still quite cold though the days were beautiful nowadays. Today was just as gorgeous as the last ones; sunny and mild. Nodame was usually up by now, awoken by the smell of breakfast but he guessed she had slept in because of last night. So with a sigh, he took off his apron, turned off the stove, and made his way to her apartment. He knocked once on the door but heard no response. He rapped the door one more time, louder this time but still heard nothing. Growling in frustration, he yelled,

"Nodame, we're going to be late! We have exams on top of that, baka!"

And yet, not even a sound. Hesitating slightly, he entered her room with caution. He was not surprised to find her door unlocked. It was the subject of many fights between them. She just wasn't concerned about safety, no matter how much he reprimanded her. He peeked into her room and found the familiar mess that went along with Noda Megumi. Toys were strewn everywhere, the piano was littered with her comic books, and stale food stood rotting in the small kitchen. But Nodame was nowhere to be found.

Piles of clothes stood in the middle of the room and he had to push his way through to get to Nodame's room.

"Where are you…" he wondered under his breath and the small idea that maybe she had never gotten home sneaked into his head. Was that possible? With Nodame, definitely. Spotting her bedroom, he made his way through the pile of garbage and tried to wake her up the usual way; yelling at the top of his lungs. But no respond came, not even the usual lazy moans she gave at being woken up in such a way. So carefully, as to not see anything he didn't want to, he stuck his head into her room though she rarely slept in her room. Still, the sight that caught his eyes had him extremely surprised. Her room was untouched completely. The bed looked as if it had never been slept on, her dresser was gathering dust, and the closet looked glued shut. He looked around the room and felt the small trickles of panic in his spine. He bolted towards the door, real alarm setting in over the fact that she had not come home last night and without being cautious, he tripped over the pile of clothes. He started to curse but was startled to hear a small, weak 'muckya' coming from it. The pile shuddered and trembled before becoming still again. Shinichi narrowed his eyes at it and bent down to poke it. Again, it shuddered and stopped. From the very edge of the pile, he spotted a wisp of auburn hair and gave an irritated growl.

"Nodame!"

"Loud…" she moaned, "Too loud…hyan…."

"This girl—" he started dispassionately and began to excavate her from the clothes. Slowly, the auburn hair began to show, a big mess that looked something like a bird's nest. Then her face came into view which startled him a bit. He had seen that color of red on her cheeks before. It tinted the otherwise lily white complexion she had with a harsher tone of usual pink.

"You're sick," he stated with disbelief and she shuddered to show that he was right.

"I wanted to party in 'eroticallaly' for Shinichi," she sniffed sadly, "But my plan backfired."

"Who taught you that word?" Shinichi growled with a raised eyebrow but the mumbled response didn't quite reach his ears.

Shaking his head, he threw off the clothes from on top of her and searched around for something to cover her up. She wore a dress he recognized instantly as one he had chosen for her when they had gone shopping a few days ago. Again, she had insisted to have an outing with him, complaining that their married life could be in jeopardy if they didn't spend time with each other. Two things about that comment had made him angry. One, they were certainly not even close to marriage nor would they be for--oh let's see-- few millennia and two—but well, her second comment had been true. With school and work and all the activities that came with being a pianist and a conductor, they had made little time for each other. Not that Nodame ever complained about it. If there was one thing she understood most about Shinichi, it was the fact that his desire to become the greatest conductor he could be was his number one priority. Nodame didn't even dream of standing in the way of that.

At last, he found an oversized sweater and made her wear it. He quickly recognized it as one of his own and was about to demand an explanation but she looked so wretched that he didn't in the end. Still, he made it a point to start locking his dresser from now on. Instead, he covered her with it; the sweater fitting her like an oversized circus tent.

"What are you going to do about your exam?" he scolded her as she shivered miserably.

"If I don't take it, they'll hold me back—" she breathed out sharply, twitching her nose repeatedly in the way a rabbit would do it. Shinichi looked at her strangely, trying to figure out the weird nose trick but before he could figure out what was happening, she had drawn in a big breath and sneezed in front of him.

"—So I have to take it today," she finished in a stuffy voice as Shinichi cursed loudly and wiped away the spray of infectious bacteria.

"You don't think ahead much, do you?" he asked rhetorically but to his amusement, she nodded in agreement. Sighing, he helped her get up which was not an easy feat with all the garbage laying around.

"Where have you been sleeping all this time?" he asked her through the effort of having to hold her up. It didn't help that she was trying to get him to carry her bridal style all the way to the door. A good slap to the forehead took care of that idea.

"Mostly on your couch but also around here," she continued after a sniffle, "the bed's too far away…"

"Lazy bum," he muttered but he was sure she heard him. The day was warm but Nodame was caught between intense heat and the icy feeling in her body. Shinichi wondered if she could actually take an exam in this condition. He didn't want her to be held back a year; not just because it was an obviously bad thing but because she had been trying her best at everything to do with piano. Now that he knew the reason why, he didn't want her to be disappointed.

"Ahh…" she breathed suddenly, "How are things going with the conducting class?"

"Mmm," he hummed positively, "My sensei has gotten me a position to study under a really amazing conductor by the name of Lebrecht Dionysus."

"What a weird name…"

He agreed but as far as he had heard, he was supposed to be an incredible conductor. Half carrying Nodame towards his apartment, he heard the uncertain sounds that came from the woman when she was unsure of what to ask.

"Out with it," he barked. Moaning slightly, she looked at him with bright, clear eyes as she asked,

"Why don't you go find your beloved sensei and study under him?"

"Viera-sensei?" he echoed and looked away from her. He opened the door with his back and entered his room. He placed her carefully on the couch and started to serve her meal, all the while thinking about what she asked him.

"I want to be at my best when I meet him," Shinichi answered confidently, "I want to make him proud."

"Ahh—" she sighed, "So does that mean you'll be even busier now?" she asked timidly, her eyes dropping to the floor.

"Mmm," he agreed after a minute, looking down on her crestfallen face. Her usual pink face was bright red and the sweaty beads dropping down unto her slender neck. Hoping to not meet that cursed spot, his eyes quickly averted to the placed it on the table. He took a spoonful and hand it to her, grimacing as she opened her mouth, closed her eyes, and said 'aaaang…'

"Don't joke around," Shinichi growled through clenched teeth and was met by a saddened pout from the younger girl. He sighed tetchily, wondering why in the world would he actually feel the need to please her and stuck the spoon into her mouth roughly. Still, as she munched on her meal, a smile emerged on her lips. Shinichi rolled his eyes and he found out he didn't need more of an answer than that.

A moment of silence stretched out between them but the silence was broken as Nodame began to hum the song she was supposed to play for her exam. Shinichi instantly recognized it as one of the hardest pieces he had heard so far.

"Is that Beethoven's Piano Sonata no. 29?"

She nodded miserably and Shinichi couldn't blame her for being so upset. It would be extremely difficult for her to play such a piece in good health but to play it when she looked like a dying fish would be hell.

"I'm going to die!" she exclaimed desolately, throwing her hands in the air and smacking Shinichi on the forehead by mistake.

"Relax," he said sternly, "what time is it at? I'll come support you."

"Second class," she answered stuffily, her nose running. She pretended to lean against Shinichi's shoulder and managed to wipe away some of the snot before he found her out and had her flying across the room. Only her 'Sacre Bleu!' was heard.

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Remember that reviews are a girl's best friend...or at least, an authot wannabe. 


	3. Chapter 3

Anything in Italics is another language when it is being spoken. Otherwise, italic is inner thoughts or in this chapter's case, a letter. Easy enough, right?

Also, if you do not know who is meant by Immortal Beloved, well it basically is the mysterious lover of Beethoven's. He wrote three heartfelt letters to her but never explained who it was though there have been a huge amount of speculations, from old women to a fourteen year old girl. This website is being idiotic--I can't even put up links anymore! Despite my anger, if you're interested in reading more just Wikipedia it or google it.

Anyhoo, we all know who the Immortal Beloved is in this story…Matsumi-chan of course. LOL.

* * *

At ten thirty that day, Shinichi watched one of her best performances on the piano. The piece was composed by an unconventional four movements for a normal piano sonata. Her first movement was lively, so in contrast to her face which seemed to fall off her very bone structure. Yet, her eyes were bright and focused on each note, especially during the Scherzo: Assai vivace which only last about three minutes. And then…well, the piece is already hard to play but the sonata called for a kind of undying sorrow in the semi last part of the piece. Nodame, being wretchedly sick, found the output to that misery and played it as if she was dying. Shinichi couldn't believe his ears. His mouth hung open and every hair on his body stood on end. He cast a glance at the examiners and was not surprised to find them with eyes bugged out and pens hanging mid-air, completely forgotten. There was something different about her pain though, that Shinichi instantly grabbed onto. 

As she played it, one could figure out she was in bad shape. But the piano piece called for a different kind of misery, something unrelated to sickness. This piece called for a kind of sorrow Nodame didn't know yet. A sorrow that she couldn't possibly express the way Beethoven had wanted so badly to express. Still, her playing was incredible as always, messy and sloppy but captivating. She added notes and took away beats and her mouth was set into that determined pout he knew well. She mesmerized her audience with all she had and when she was done (she took a turn for the worst and messed up the last few measures) Shinichi was sure she passed with flying colors no matter what. No matter how many mistakes and how many liberties she had taken with the score, she had succesfully won over her audience. After the exam, she all but collapsed in his arms and he found that he didn't mind carrying her bridal style back home.

Nodame recovered quickly enough and was most relieved to find out she had passed her exam. She wanted to celebrate as quickly as possible but she soon remembered that Shinichi had started taking lessons from a new teacher. She found herself alone for most of the day but she used that time to focus on her piano practice instead. Piece after piece, she rehearsed until her fingers became numb and all the notes blurred into each other, becoming a mangled mess only she seemed to be able to differentiate. None of the teachers asked her why she was so adamant in her playing but in reality, the only ones who knew were Nodame herself and Shinichi. She always knew Shinichi would always be ahead of her, no matter how hard she tried. He grew by leaps and bounds, totally unaware of the events around him. To him, music equaled life. And Nodame…Nodame had to work hard to keep him in her sight. She wasn't sure she was that passionate about music; she enjoyed it tremendously and it brought a kind of joy that nothing could compare to but—was it enough? So she spent hour after hour studying, sight reading, playing—everything to keep him where he was.

Her finger touched down gently upon the white keys, like a ballerina would land after a high jump into the air. Her hand swept across the keys in perfect sync, her left following her right, her pinky touching down slightly on the wrong note. Beethoven's piece had never sounded so alive, so vibrant but at the same time, it missed a certain something that Beethoven always seemed to put down in his music, a kind of joy and pain Nodame could never get. Her chords echoed through the air, vibrating through the dancing molecules while ringing in her ears and soon the strings of the violins blend in, a harsher melody than the one she was playing. The violas and contrabass continued the rhythm, merging in seamlessly with the harmonies. Shinichi opened his eyes to find Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor echoing throughout the concert hall. A beautiful, powerful piece conducted by his master whom he had only just met today. Of German descent, Lebrecht Dionysus wore his blonde hair in a small ponytail and his blue eyes shone throughout the piece. Shinichi could tell that like Stresseman, this man too admired and respected music. He closed his eyes and let the horns and flutes take him away.

Rehearsal went on for two hours that day before they decided to call it quits. Everyone was excited for the performance. This particular performance was made especially for the patrons of the Orchestre de Paris and the patrons of Salle Pleyel in Paris, a concert hall which had recently been reopened. Everyone was excited to work on such a famous piece in such a famous concert hall though the small worry of not having an organ player yet started to settle in. The day had been long for all of them but Shinichi couldn't wait to finally talk to the great Lebrecht. His new teacher's cheeks were bright red as they shook hand sand greeted each other and Shinichi thought he looked almost like a drunk with those cheeks. Surely, he must be hot after all that conducting.

"_I'm looking forward to learning a lot from you_," Shinichi started in German but trailed away when Lebrecht nodded whilst taking out a silver whisk and drowning it down in one gulp. He wiped the excess wine with the back of his hand and clapped Shinichi on the back.

"_There's a lovely liquor store around the corner," _he whispered, winking mischievously, "_What do you say we go get happy?"_

Shinichi's eye twitched. He could read the aura of the man already, having quite a few experiences with this type. Were all great conductors weirdos?

"_From Japan, you say_," Lebrecht mused, "_Yes, the Japanese seem to do well in a lot of areas_," he smiled coolly at Shinichi, "_But I'll be the judge of your conducting tomorrow_."

"_Tomorrow_?" he asked in shock, his eyes widening at the older man.

"_I gather you have been studying the score_?" his teacher asked, all but hopping towards the cool streets of Paris and looking around. He found his way quickly, using his nose like a bloodhound to smell the small liquor store near the concerto hall. Taking his new pupil hand in his, Lebrecht skipped inside the small, warm bar with a big grin on his face.

Shinichi had, in fact, tried to study the score but thanks to Nodame's sickness, he hadn't been able to look it over enough to really understand it. She was very picky when she was sick, everything starting from food to what temperature her bath water should be. Shinichi of course, had yelled that he wasn't her man servant and wouldn't do as she demanded yet at the end of the day, she had fallen asleep on his couch after a big portion of nabe and a bath with the water temperature of exactly 80 degrees Fahrenheit.

He had to make sure to do so today, no matter what. What he had said to Nodame had been correct. He wanted to be at his best when he met his sensei, in hopes that he will be proud to call Shinichi his pupil.

"_When in France…_," his teacher said happily, entering the small store where the owner greeted him with an ecstatic 'Bonjour!' and clapped him on the back. Obviously, he was a regular here. Before he knew it, he was sitting alongside the three men with a glass of wine in his hands whilst the two older men chatted away loudly and happily in a mixture of French and German. Shinichi rolled his eyes. He seemed to be a magnet for weirdos and he wondered lightly where a certain bright eyed weirdo was doing at the moment. He took out his cell phone and sent a message, a small smile on his face that only one person caught. Lebrecht turned his eyes away from his drink and looked at the corner of his pupil's lips as his fingers moved back an forth as he texted his mysterious friend. He recognized that smile. After studying the small smirk on his new student's face, he went back to his drink with more thoughts in his head than he'd like.

* * *

Nodame came home late that night but even so, she found Shinichi locked in his apartment with a single sign on the door that read: 

'_Garbage woman, I need to study tonight so I left some food in your fridge. Don't make too much noise today. –Shinichi'_

Nodame read the small note over two times before sighing and entering her room. She dropped the letter by the table as her eyes met a clean, good smelling room. She no longer had to go through piles of garbage to get to her kitchen. Dropping her bag along her way, she spotted another note on her fridge and she noticed the scribbling was not as neat as the one on his door. In fact, she could almost hear his exasperated voice as she read:

'_What am I? Your maid? Clean up your mess, you hentai! Next time I come into your room, I better not see the France landfill, do you understand?'_

Nodame managed a small chuckle before opening the fridge door. Inside, she found a bowl of spaghetti with big chunks of bacon and the smell of garlic and tomato sauce. Her mouth watered instantly and she almost dropped the dish in order to put in on the pan and heat it up. The smell of garlic and home cooked vegetables always reminded her of him. She couldn't help but smile as she stirred the contents and briefly wondered if he had eaten properly himself. He must have if he had taken time to cook for her and clean up her mess. In the past, she would burst into his room to make sure he was well fed and keep him company as he studied but nowadays, she knew better. Studying as very important for him and she wouldn't stand in the way of that. Still, as she savored the feeling of being looked after and ate the delicious food Shinichi had made for her, she couldn't help but worry if he had eaten today. Out of her reverie of thoughts, a harsh noise made her choke on her tea. The harsh bellows of the organ rang through her ears and the volume thankfully decreased quickly. It came from Shinichi's room and Nodame could already hear him cursing loudly. The organ continued to play the piece which she recognized as Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor. She supposed it had been the one piece he was so emerged in lately. She grimaced.

She had nothing against organs but she didn't particularly like this piece with the organ. She thought it could be so much better without it. But then again, that was just her position on it. She looked down on her tea and thought relentlessly for a minute before making up her mind and heading for the door. As soon as the doorknob turned and the door opened, her forehead was met by Shinichi's large fist as he knocked between her eyes twice before making a strangled noise and stopping, catching her before she fell on the floor.

"Puki…" she whimpered.

"Sorry, didn't see ya there."

Shinichi rubbed her forehead with his large hand and peered at her through disheveled hair.

"Did the music scare you?"

Nodame made a weird noise and her mouth twisted in a weird way.

"What?" Shinichi asked, a little annoyed at her habits. He was already stressed with the piece as it was.

"I don't particularly like that piece."

"Eh?" Shinichi gaped, "Why not?"

He led her to his apartment as Nodame answered truthfully.

"I don't like how the organ sounds in the piece—"

"That piece was made for the organ," Shinichi countered and nearly tripped over the pieces of paper on the floor. Food wrappings lay discarded near the garbage can as if he had carelessly thrown it to the side without looking. The morning dishes were caked with food and starting to smell.

"Gyabo, senpai…" Nodame whispered, looking around his usually terrifyingly neat room, "it almost looks like my apartment."

"Listen," Shinichi started irritably, "that's not something I want to hear at the moment."

Nodame smiled at him, sitting down on the floor by the piles of strewn paper. Each had red marks on it, scattered all around. She could tell he had been breaking his head open trying to study.

"You were saying?" he continued, sitting beside her and continuing his work. He eased himself back into his work routine, running his hand against his hair yet again and making it stand up once more.

"Well, the organ sounds like it doesn't belong. It's like when Nodame tries to cheat in a puzzle by putting a piece that looks like it fits but it doesn't but if Nodame pushes it hard enough it does but you can tell it doesn't belong there."

Shinichi raised his eyebrows at her, his silence stretching in incredulity.

"Who cheats at puzzle games?" he exclaimed disbelievingly at last.

"The point is, senpai, that the organ doesn't sound right. Or at least not to me. It's too harsh an instrument to go with the orchestra. It needs something to turn it back to the original black and silver."

"Geh?" Shinichi asked, raising a questioning eyebrow at the younger woman.

"Well," she explained patiently, as if to a child, "When I hear the orchestra playing it, I get the image of a black and silver stag but then the organ kinda blurs it--it doesn't fit somehow."

Shinichi looked at her thoughtfully, his eyes sinking into hers as he pondered her words. She stood quiet as he gazed her at, looking at the butts of cigarettes left around the table. A couple of plates with crumbs of food were under the table and his carpet was strewn with the white fuzz of the used eraser. Suddenly, Shinichi took a fresh piece of music score paper and started writing down furiously, mumbling to himself as he did so. Nodame was already used to this and stood quiet as she studied him as well. He was so immersed in music; he gave himself to it as completely as he could. Like a man possessed, he poured over the notes and rhythms as if they were his very life. His eyes were tired but that didn't stop him from squinting down on the piece. Nodame sighed gently and got up, heading to the door of his apartment. She didn't turn back nor did he bid her goodbye. Nodame stepped out into the hallway and looked around.

The hallway was different than the one in Japan. It was narrower, far warmer than the one before but Nodame couldn't help the shiver that ran up her spine.

She had never felt this misplaced in her life and the image of the organ manifested itself in her mind.

* * *

I suggest you get acquainted with the pieces too. I've gone through all my albums trying to find perfect ones for the story. They're purty! And if you don't understand the whole stag reference, there's this...thing (for the lack of a better word) called Synesthesia which causes certain people to associate music, numbers, or a variety of things with colors or flavors. Nodame sees colors for example Mozart being pink or Bach's fugue being black and silver. For more info, go to: Wikipedia or google since this website doesn't allow link...grr... 


	4. Chapter 4

There's a lot of heaviness here but next chapter they'll have a date (Chiaki: It's not a date!!!!!) and it's a funny one at that. But I'm trying to examine their relationship and to do that, I need to put them through hell—muahahahahaha!

Read on.

Ps- I keep forgetting to say 'Nodame Cantabile and all its characters do not belong to me not will they ever no matter how much I wish they would…especially Chiaki though I doubt he'd be interested in me. My piano sucks…' SO DON"T SUE...You'll get all my money, all two dollars and three cents.

* * *

The next day, Shinichi came into the hall with incredible confidence in his heart. The piece which he knew like the back of his hand now was ringing in his ears. His hand held the score as if it was his treasure and anyone who saw him was blown back by the utter confidence he exuded. Lebrecht instantly recognized that expression. It was one he had worn a long time ago, a feeling he had felt for so long that he didn't even realize the disaster it caused around him and at once, Lebrecht knew he had to watch out for his pupil.

"_Well Shinichi_," Lebrecht clapped him on the back, inviting him onto the podium, "_For today, I have decided to let you have your way with the orchestra on this piece. Any changes you think are better will be totally up to you_."

"_Truly?_" Shinichi said in surprise, his German coming out in a hurry and was met by his teacher's affirmative nod. He looked around the stage towards the musicians, their instruments and the empty organ by the side. He had rather liked Bach's piece with the organ but Nodame had planted a seed in his head that had grown at an amazing speed last night. But that didn't stop him from being hesitant about voicing his rather strange idea for the piece to a group of mature, well learned musicians.

"Well, there's one thing I would like all of you to consider," Shinichi started in English, "I believe that the organ is not well suited for the piece—"

A large noise of dissent bubbled up though the orchestra though most of them stood quiet, waiting for the young man to continue.

"Why do you say that?" an older cellist asked, his voice dubious at the words of the younger man.

"Well…something about puzzles and stags that I can't explain perfectly," Shinichi mumbled at first, his voice growing stronger afterwards, "but the truth is, it would sound less dramatic with the violins and still have the same intensity Bach wanted to give."

There were a few raised eyebrows along the way but his teacher's eyes lit up as if on fire.

"_That's very difficult to do, Shinichi_," he said seriously, looking at his young student carefully, inspecting the strong, set jaw of resilience, "_What do you have in mind?_"

"I have the changes already noted on my score," he said with poise toward the orchestra, "I can make copies and hand them out within a few minutes, if you would like to try."

There was a murmur of assent before the first oboist spoke out in a clear voice.

"I say we try it. We don't have an organ piano player yet, right?"

The one who spoke was a handsome young man, one of the few among the older, more experienced musicians. Like Shinichi, he too had the glint of being a headstrong young man. Shinichi nodded at him in thanks and stepped down the podium. He excused himself to make the copies and smiling, he exited the concert hall. He had a feeling he was about to make something incredible happen.

When he came back and handed out the sheets of paper, he stood on top of the podium with all the confidence in the world and started to go over the changes.

"The organ parts are on this level. Violins, I want to take you a fifth higher to A minor. This means that you may have to go a slow as the lowest notes on the violin but I have the greatest confidence that you'll be able to."

He continued to speak, entrancing the musicians with his detailed explanation of the change of keys while Lebrecht stood back and watched. This was history at work. A young man such as Shinichi had already thought of everything in order to make these changes happen and answered every question with ease and comfort. Not only was she prepared and confident but he _knew_ what he was talking about. There was no pretense or second guessing and certainly no faltering. Even through the breaks, he took no time off except for the occasional texting to that person Lerbrecht was sure it was someone important to Shinichi. He tended to smile fondly throughout the silent conversation with his mystery woman and spent a couple of minutes conversing with her. Otherwise, he devoted his energy and time to the piece. As Lebrecht watched, he could feel the beginnings of something new for the face of music and hoped that the similarities between him and his pupil would not lead him down the wrong path as it had led Lebrecht.

* * *

Beethoven's Piano Sonata no. 3 echoed through the halls of the school alongside the instructions of Nodame's teacher.

"Don't take liberties with those notes. Every one of those notes need to be precise. They all mean something."

Nodame nodded and continued. Her eyes swept across the keys as her fingers flowed like water to lightly touch the keys. A happier, chipper piece compared to Beethoven's Piano Sonata no. 29, it was tedious nonetheless. Pedal happy and quite fast, she had to get these two difficult pieces down by the allotted time. She had passed the exam with good scores all around but to her great upset, a certain teacher by the name of Rosemarie Webster had decided to train her for a famous piano contest in Germany. Her official professor, Professor O'Clair had willingly given her to Rosemarie Webster. Not because he wasn't interested in her anymore but the exact opposite. He wished only the best for Nodame. Yet the haunting feeling that she was still in the early stages of maturity drew him to a close. There seemed that no one but Nodame herself could do about her immaturity.

Nodame hadn't accepted nor did she have the desire to attend but the teacher had insisted on teaching her. On top of a long day, Nodame sighed as she found herself receiving extra lessons from this apparently well motivated teacher of Irish descent.

"The tempo isn't that fast. You're making too many mistakes at that speed."

Like Shinichi, she was a perfectionist _but unlike_ Shinichi, Nodame didn't have the desire to please her as much. She was tired; all she wanted was to go home.

"The competition you don't have to accept but there is a small concert for all my piano students in a couple of weeks and I want you to participate. A lot of important people will attend. It'll be good for someone as talented as you are."

Nodame nodded but she wasn't enthusiastic about it. Rosemarie Webster loved Beethoven's Sonatas and that's why she had chose Nodame to play most of them but Nodame wasn't honored by it. All she wanted was a little bit of rest for the day.

Finally at five past nine, she was released from the piano prison and allowed to leave. On the way home, she wondered about the competition. She wouldn't accept it just for the fact that Shinichi wouldn't be with her in Germany if she did. To be in a strange country all alone was not exactly something she was comfortable with. Besides, she was doing fine here. Every competition she entered in France (though it hadn't a lot), she had come in third place or better but never first place, mainly because she still changed the piece when she got too into it. Still, France was now recognizing her talents well. On top of that, with Shinichi by her side, she was trying to immerse herself in music and at the same time, enjoy it as well.

She wasn't sure if it was working. Whenever she had the chance to play, her fingers would be ready to but when she played for pure enjoyment, she noticed she didn't make any mistakes anymore. She still added and took away notes but now she noticed when she did so. Like an on and off switch, she could now command whether or not she wanted to add an extra note here and there. She couldn't do that before, it had been more of an impulse than a choice.

The night was cold and a light drizzle fell on the energetic city. She had no umbrella with her at the time but she lived close enough to the school to make it without getting too wet.

There was no note on his door so she went in nonchalantly. She heard his shower running and dropped her bag along the way to the couch. She dropped like a sack of potatoes on the comfortable couch and threw an arm over her eyes. The sound of the running water carried her to the edge of dream land where Beethoven's two Piano Sonatas intertwined with each other to make a strange, unlikely sound. Meddled harmonies and notes interfered with each other. It was a muddy color, not like she pictured Beethoven to sound. It didn't make her feel too well either and there was a sound of hissing, like a snake that frightened her. Suddenly, the snake wrapped around her throat and her eyes opened in surprise. Her throat found itself constricted by one large hand.

"You baka!" Shinichi yelled angrily, her eyes focusing on his angered face, choking her with a fury, "You messed up the entire carpet with your muddy paws."

"Hyan…"

She sounded tired, a sound Shinichi wasn't used to. She let her go instantly and placed his large hand on her forehead. Not warm but she really looked exhausted. Even her moan had been worn out.

"Long day?" he asked her and she leaned back against the couch arm in response. "What are you learning now?" he asked her, drying his hair with the navy blue towel while walking to the kitchen.

"Beethoven sonatas."

She looked at him closely as he placed the towel around his broad shoulder and started serving their dinner. His wet hair stood in awkward places, totally disheveled and so unlike the appearance he usually had in front of others.

"Ahh, my favorites," he hummed, serving a large amount of food for her in two plates, "real doozies, huh?"

Her agreed hum sounded like a car horn under water but a smile crawled on her face. His favorites…

"Here, eat something."

She struggled to sit up but the smell of delicious food gave her the deposition to do so. She pushed her hair back as to not get it dirty and for a brief moment, his eyes swept past that piece of flesh. Like lightning, it shook him in his very bones for a second or so before the curtain of auburn hair hid it back beyond Shinichi's reaches. He sighed deeply but was quick to smile as she gulfed down the food he prepared for them. He scolded her gently for eating so fast. Her cheeks puffed up until she looked like a chipmunk getting ready for winter.

"Your face will stay like that, you know," he commented off handedly, "and I don't like girls who look life stuffed chipmunks."

"But—so—hungry," she said through great amounts of food. Shinichi chuckled and stamped on her forehead.

"How are your rehearsals going?" she asked, massaging the offended spot. With his own mouth full of food, Shinichi hummed and nodded, swallowing quickly in order to tell her.

"I took your advice and we took out the organ," he nodded as she exclaimed in surprise, "It does sound nicer, just like you said."

"I'm such a genius—" Nodame commented, causing Shinichi to roll his eyes.

"I hope you'll like it," he added gently, looking down into his bowl of food for a moment before looking up at her with the greatest confidence in the world, "It'll be my debut in Europe after all."

Nodame nodded happily but internally she felt truly jealous. If only she could have that security in knowing what you were doing…

Unfortunately, the rest of the week passed like that day. Both became too tired to speak through mouths of food and then collapsed, for once, against each other in deep slumber. Though Nodame had noticed they spent less and less time talking to one another, she guessed that it was supposed to be like that to the way to success. She began to try her hardest on the Sonatas, hoping to please Shinichi with her playing of his favorite music. She wanted him to see her with those penetrating eyes and realize who she was. She just wanted to be seen by him at her best.

Still, as she felt her eyes closing with the heaviness of the day, she wished she could go back to the simple beginning with him, if only for a day.

* * *

The new sound of Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D minor without the organ was rare but beautiful. The changes made to the piece were tricky for everyone but as the rehearsals kept on, the orchestra became more confident that the start of something new was coming. As for Shinichi, everyone agreed that he had music flowing through his veins. The way he knew what the composition wanted to say and express and the way which Shinichi made it his own was astounding for someone his age. This young man had a lot to offer, Lebrecht thought instantly, sipping from a small, golden flask. Shinichi spent his days working with the orchestra, going home late at night and arriving bright and early in the morning. No doubt he wanted this piece to be its best. But there was something underlying that desire. The will to succeed was one thing but Lebrecht often found Shinichi on his cell phone, as if desperate for a bit of advice from this mystery woman. Every time a new, incorporated part of the piece was finished, he seemed more than happy or proud. It was as if the reward for this particular piece was more than his great debut but something greater.

As teacher and student, they sat down one day in the midst of music sheets and scores and talked about the piece. Lebrecht listened carefully to all Shinichi said, the logicality of his new score and the changes to the notes and chords of the piece.

"_What was that about puzzles_?" Lebrecht suddenly asked in German, halfway through marking the newer notes for the violins.

"_Puzzles?_" Shinichi echoed in confusion but his face lit up with comprehension a moment after.

"_Oh, the idea came from a friend of mine_."

"_Ahh_," sighed his teacher, going back to his marks, "_A female friend_?"

Shinichi hummed in agreement but was glad his teacher left it at that. They went back to their work, speaking in between small pauses but while Shinichi's mind was on one thing only, his teacher had more serious thoughts in his head. Everything had to be perfect, thought Shinichi.

It was to be his big France debut after all. And she would be one of the first ones who saw it.

* * *

Shinichi was offered a break one though he tried to convince Lebrecht he didn't need one. His teacher persisted, insisting that Shinichi needs to spend time with loved ones instead of being stuck with the orchestra 24/7. That Monday morning, Shinichi woke up by the utter silence of the morning. He had never awoken at ten in the morning and though it was a nice change, he quickly found out that other than the orchestra, he really didn't have anything. He had slowly but surely left school as the farthest priority in his mind. So for that day, he had nothing to do. Not even Nodame was there to annoy him since she was practicing her piano at school and would probably be there until very late.

But this was thought too soon.

At around noon, Shinichi left for a stroll around France to enjoy her scenery and her people. Parisians are laid back folks and Shinichi felt at most peace here when the sun was high in the sky and the smell of coffee and tea were in the air. Unlike Japan, the sky was everywhere and birds, dogs, and other types of animals ran freely under the open clouds. After a very peaceful hour and a half, he made his way back home, far calmer than he'd been any of these days. By the end of the walk, he was very glad to have that day off.

That all changed the moment he stepped into his apartment.

"Shinichi, you're back! Hyan!"

"Mmm, I'm ba--" his sentence choked mid-way as he heard a soft moaning sound from his bedroom.

"What's that?" h e asked hesitantly, eyeing the bedroom with a great distaste.

"It's Potato!"

Shinichi's eye twitched violently.

"What?" he exclaimed incredulously, "What's a potato? Why's it moaning in my room?"

Nodame laughed, eyeing Shinichi with amusement/

"It's not _a _potato. That's it name, Potato."

Finally, Shinichi bolted into his bedroom to see two black eyes, brown wet fur, and a small snout staring happily at him from on top of his bed, revealing its identity as a brown macchiato dog.

"Isn't he cute?" Nodame sang, going to the animal and stroking it as Shinichi rubbed his face hard with his hand.

"Why is it on my bed?!" he yelled, glaring at both the young woman and the dog.

"Cause he likes it…" Nodame looked away instantly and Shinichi reacted almost automatically.

"Liar!" he shouted again, "Tell the truth!"

He took big strides toward her and stared down at her angrily.

"He—likes—your smell…"

Shinichi paused for a moment, his eye going berserk before he took a pillow and rammed it against her face.

"Gyabo!"

"Tell the truth," Shinichi insisted, climbing on her and holding the pillow above his head, threatening to smother her as she tried to get away. The dog started wagging its tail and barking happily to their side.

"Where did you get him?"

"Gift—" Nodame tussled.

"Why is the dog wet?" Shinichi asked her, making sure he pinned her down as to not let her escape.

"I just bathed him," she struggled against his weight, trying to wiggle out.

"Why is he on the bed?"

She stopped struggling and looked away, her face agonized.

"He was…drying himself," she whispered and shut her eyes, expecting his rage to cause major damage to the room. His face turned towards the dog as he climbed on top of Nodame's face and started wiggling his tail at Shinichi, sticking his tongue out at him in a cute sort of way. Shinichi sighed and got off her, running a hand through his hair. Nodame pushed the dog softly unto the bed and stared at him in surprise.

"Shinichi?"

"Why Potato?" Shinichi asked, eyeing the dog suspiciously, "He doesn't look anything like a potato."

"I thought you might dislike if I gave him your name," Nodame said embarrassedly, looking as Shinichi picked up the dog and checked its tag. He had been vaccinated and in perfect care, Shinichi could see. It was a baby still, big enough to hold him in one hand. He checked the tag again and the twitching returned.

"Potato Chiaki?" Shinichi deadpanned.

Nodame laughed nervously.

"He's our son…"

"Don't joke around!" Shinichi yelled, throwing the pillow at her head again.

"Gyabo!" Nodame cried.

* * *

The dog spend most of its time in his apartment, much like Nodame did. Shinichi had to admit that it was very cute and didn't cause any trouble. It was quick to potty train and always did its necessities inside its special pad or outside. Nodame fed it twice a day, a big healthy portion of her food when it was healthy or his dog food when she had something he couldn't eat. As far as the doggy went, he was very happy to be with them and especially got close to Shinichi. He often wondered why she had accepted such a responsibility but after that day, he rarely got a chance to see both Potato and Nodame.

Two weeks passed and Nodame got to see Shinichi less and less except for those times at dinner and the quick talks via texting. Even then, they ate mostly in silence and fell asleep right after. Even Shinichi was neglecting his hygiene with all the bustle of conducting his own, revised piece for the Orchestra. Most of his morning and afternoon was taken by the practices but she had hoped that during the night, they might get a chance to be together more. Sadly, Lebrecht had decided to steal her man away from her at night as well. Drinking parties served as the main points for most of the evenings the two men shared. Lebrecht wasn't at all interested in women it seemed and paid no attention to the crowd of interested women who tried to ambush him whenever he went. Though he was in his late forties, Lebrecht was still quite handsome with big blue eyes and deep blonde hair. Yet to Shinichi, there was something missing in this man. His passion for music was there, almost with an obsessive nature that Shinichi didn't think was healthy at all. When he drank, he muttered strange things to himself, _to remember_, his teacher muttered in a stupor. Drinking with him was quite different than with Stressemann.

. On the other hand, Nodame sunk herself deeper and deeper into her piano practice. With two Beethoven pieces under her belt, she could now move on to the final piece her teacher wanted her to learn. Yet, Nodame had a sinking feeling about it all. As if she was going under a great heavy piece of metal, drowning her with no way out. But now she was having the doubts that it wasn't the piano playing that caused her to be like this. Indeed, she felt better after playing and the exhaustion she felt afterwards was merely the emotions she had let out during her playing. She wanted to know what the root of the problem was but it seemed to be going farther and farther away.

Days became longer to Nodame. Potato was every bit of relief she needed. In reality, the puppy had served her to give her love to something and the dog both accepted it and gave it back. It was a way to have company since Shinichi was rarely home nowadays. Every day was packed with some lesson or another piece to learn. Piano became a burden to her but she continued because it called out to her. Like god, the sound of its keys called to her in a sweet symphony to which Nodame couldn't deny anymore. Yet the burden of having that single instrument under her like a thin wire she had to walk on to keep up with Shinichi became too much. The notes, which she couldn't properly read to begin with, blurred together, becoming nothing at all. Her fingers flew across the black and white keys, creating discordant melodies that echoed through the hall. Her confusion flew with the notes, clashing and colliding together.

After a heavy day of practice on her latest piece, her teacher sighed through the silence of the room and looked at Nodame wearily.

"That was a mess," she said, stern green eyes looking at her coldly, "Chopin's Ballade in G minor does not suit you, is that it? Or perhaps you're not putting your all into it?"

Nodame looked down upon her hands, large hands that overcame lots of difficult passages with ease. They were shaking slightly. Her eyes wanted to close already but her head kept pounding with the mantra she had, to keep him in her sight…to keep him there at her side…

"What do you plan to do Noda Megumi?" her teacher asked in one sigh, more to herself than to Nodame but it caught Nodame by total surprise.

What did she plan to do? Her face stunned, her hands stopped, shaking, and her heart skipped a beat. The words repeated around her, throwing her off balance. Why did she attend this school? Only for him, a nasty voice inside her head said nastily, only for a boy. But without him, with only just the piano, what did she plan to do? Her lips chapped and mouth dry, she realized she didn't know. She hadn't the slightest.

The professor's words kept echoing through her head. The lesson had long been over but the presence of uncertainty lingered on, like a bed smell she couldn't get rid of. The dark shadows overcame the small amount of light provided by the moonlight. She couldn't see the keys clearly anymore, not through the shadows, not through the tears.

She looked at the piano keys through the haze. She loved this instrument, even after the incident with the teacher. She passed her fingers over the keys, smooth to the touch. A single note rang through the air, loud and clear, without hesitation over what the note was. A tuned, lucid, perfect note. Nodame pressed her head against the cool keys and sighed, hoping to breath in its confidence.

"Guide me," she whispered, "please…"


	5. Chapter 5

Yay, next chapter!

* * *

"_Hey, I wanna be your girlfriend…_" 

His English was horrible, his singing abhorrent but what was worse was the fact that Lebrecht actually knew the words to the song.

"_You know it's not a secret…I wanna be your girlfriend._"

"Shut that down, will ya?" Shinichi complained to the barkeeper and though the man laughed at his maestro, he did as he was told and turned off the music. Lebrecht had a way of getting drunk by just inhaling alcohol and Shinichi guessed his main duty was to keep him at bay on nights like this. He propped his chin on his hand and sighed as his sensei's head dropped on his shoulder.

"_Ahh, the wonders of alcohol. To forget and remember at the same time…hic…_"

"Eh?" Shinichi grunted. He had the habit of saying such things during his drunken stupor that Shinichi had yet to understand. Lebrecht smiled knowingly at the younger man.

"_Why does one drink, Shinichi? To forget…to remember…_"

Shinichi eyes the man with tired eyes. Was he being coherent at all?

"_Any girlfriends Shinichi?_" Lebrecht asked through slurred lips. He poked Shinichi in the ribs repeatedly.

"_Ow…no, sir._"

"_No?_" Lebrecht repeated, surprised at the response, "_But you're young, handsome, rich…are you gay?_"

Eye twitch. Eye twitch.

"_Eh? No, nothing like that_."

Lebrecht hiccupped once as his head slid off Shinichi's shoulder and pounded on the table. Shinichi frowned and pulled him up.

"_No one special_?" Lebrecht continued, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

"_Why are so interested?_" Shinichi asked suspiciously, pulling his teacher to the back of the chair. His head leaned back to stare at the ceiling, blond hair glinting in the somber light.

"_You're my student, right? I'd like to know_."

The bar was half empty with only a few lonely people drinking a glass or two. Yet Lebrecht had at least ten glasses in front of him, Shinichi only two.

"_I have no one_," Shinichi responded, taking a sip of his drink. A moment of silence passed as Lebrecht reflected on his pupil's words.

"_What about that person you keep texting? Isn't that your girlfriend?_"

"_Nodame?_" Shinichi exclaimed, his eyes instantly widening. He shook his head in disbelief.

"_Nodame isn't my girlfriend_," he responded automatically, as if it was second nature.

"_So what is she?"_

Shinichi thought for a minute, his eyes swaying to the wall full of alcoholic drinks and his mind already in a haze with most of them.

"_She's a cat, a landfill—a leech_."

"_None of them refer to her as a female…." _Lebrecht mused.

"_Nodame isn't the type of girl one falls in love with. She has the most disgusting habits of not bathing for a couple of days, especially when she's engrossed in a piano piece. She seems to not know the difference between summer and winter. She can't cook, doesn't know the meaning of cleaning or even the concept of what clean is and though she's pretty, she ruins it all with her weird habit of making strange faces when angry or upset. Her piano playing is gorgeous though. She has large hands so she can play almost anything with ease. After listening to a piece once, she can play it by heart a moment after. It might be sloppy but it's gorgeous_._She has a way of crawling into your heart with her weird mannerisms because you know she means good in the end. She's really naïve about things but I think that makes her as unique as she is._"

Shinichi cast a quick look to Lebrecht.

"_But she's not my girlfriend,"_ he reassured.

Shinichi drew in a breath and took another sip of alcohol. He choked on it rather quickly though as he turned his face and found himself centimeters away from his teacher's.

"_Lebrecht, too close_," Shinichi exclaimed, throwing himself back against the chair.

"_And you claim she isn't your girlfriend_?" Lebrecht asked incredulously. His eyes were clear once more, far more awake than Shinichi had ever seen him.

"_Mmm_," Shinichi responded. As Shinichi stared off into space, Lebrecht took a close inspection of Shinichi and felt dread settle in his stomach. The similarities were too much and it was too painful to bear.

"_You shouldn't drink so much, you know_," Shinichi finally said, obviously irritated, "_That's how your liver deteriorates_."

"_Eh_," came Lebrecht's easy response, "_We drink to forget, to remember_."

"_Ha? That doesn't make any sense_."

Lebrecht sighed sadly.

"_I'm afraid it will one day, Shinichi_."

* * *

The orchestra had added one more piece to the show for the patrons, making it a total of four pieces, including a flute solo and three orchestra pieces. Two of them belonged to Shinichi though they spent the most time with Bach's piece. His other one was the flute solo by Vivaldi, the 'Concerto in G minor for flute' or otherwise known as 'La Notte.' The other two orchestra pieces were happily conducted by Lebrecht. Yet Shinichi found himself more involved than he'd thought of at first. Many times he conducted alongside his teacher and when Lebrecht couldn't get up after a tough night of drinking, Shinichi would fill in for the day. In fact, the orchestra was getting quite used to his regime of five hours of practice without a break. 

And while Shinichi enjoyed his new routine with the orchestra, Nodame couldn't help but feel less connected to him. To make up for it, she went over his schedule which he himself had made for her and pinned it up on her door. She chose a special weekend where neither of them had an over hectic schedule and decided to make it 'reconciliation day' for them both.

That night, she proposed the idea of going dancing under the moonlight in the park that weekend.

"No!" was his obvious response, "Why in the hell would I do that?"

"But senpai, we haven't spend time together? Don't you miss me?"

"No I do not!" his yell came from the kitchen and though Nodame pouted, it quickly disappeared as he brought yet another banquet out into the living room. It smelled delicious as always and her mouth instantly watered. Potato started barking happily.

"I have practice the day afterwards. I've got too much stuff to do to spend time like that."

Nodame looked down on her hands, utterly dejected but Shinichi refused to give in. He continued to serve the food on the dishes but his mind kept the image of Nodame in his head. She was worse than Potato, that one.

"We can go somewhere else though," he relented, placing the dish in front of her and watching loosely as she picked up her chopsticks and looked up at him in surprise.

"Just as long as we don't go dancing," he warned strictly but a smile turned up his lips as she digged in, mumbling her 'itedekimasu' through the copious amounts of food she had stuffed in her mouth and the big smile planted on her face. He placed a plate of food next to him for Potato who, like Nodame, started eating instantly.

"Really?" she exclaimed, spewing small pieces of food through her open mouth. Shinichi grimaced and wiped her mouth sternly with a white napkin.

"Yeah…"

"Yatta!!!!!"

He nodded, placating her but he too, inside somewhere in his heart, was happy to have plans with Nodame as well.

* * *

That Saturday, the weather cooperated with them as best as it could. Not harshly cold, the weather still indicated that autumn had ended and winter was on its way. Still, they were lucky to have chosen a nice, warm, intimate restaurant as their first stop on what Nodame liked to call, 'their date.' 

"It's not a date!" Shinichi had yelled at her as she came into his room wearing a blue dress with black stocking and blue heels. Her hair was slightly curled around her face and she wore a dark, thin jacket on top. She posed for him in several positions, earning a kick to her backside and a wagging tail from Potato. But as they left the apartment (Potato had long fallen asleep on Shinichi's bed) Shinichi did comment off handedly that she looked 'presentable' as he closed his apartment door.

He had selected 'Le Canari Jaune' for its food and its laid back atmosphere. If this didn't convince her it wasn't a date…

"I wanna try something new," she insisted and ordered the first thing that she saw on the menu. "Escaramagot, please"

"Nodame, its Escargot and do you know what—"

"No worries, no worries…" she said happily, waving her hand at him, a huge unrelenting smile planted in her face but Shinichi could already imagine the look on her face when she saw her dish.

"I'll feed you your food Shinichi cause I'm your wife—snicker—"

He jerked his hands back and used his right to slap her head gently.

"Baka! I told you we aren't on a date."

"Well, well…call it whatever you like. Love outing, romantic rendezvous, sensual—"

"Don't finish that sentence," he warned, glaring at her through slit eyes. After a few minutes of her batting her long eyelashes at him, the food finally arrived. Shinichi had to hold back his laughter at her horrified face.

She looked at the plate in front of her and whimpered, pointing at them and asking those sitting around her that they had made a mistake and served her snails instead.

"Dead ones," she reassured by poking the shell of a snail with the end of her knife.

Her voice was one of pure horror. The people around her smiled politely but they surely thought of her as strange, no doubt. Shinichi shook his head in embarrassment and had to force feed her at least one.

"Just try them, they're ok—"

"Mukya!!!" was her muffled response.

She quickly found out she didn't like them and made a scene to prove her point. Her utter dislike bordered insanity, she couldn't even stand to look at them and she kept whimpering. Needless to say, the plate of snails had quickly been taken away. Sighing, Shinichi saw no choice to share his meal. He quickly regretted it though since he had a bite and one bite _only_ of his meal. Before he knew it, Nodame had gobbled it all up in a single sitting, muttering her admiration at the food, happy once more.

"Just like your food, senpai!"

"Well, I wouldn't know, would I?" Shinichi grumbled as he glared at the empty dish.

"This girl…" he muttered as she left him with the bill.

After the restaurant, she decided she wanted to try out some games nearby. France isn't well known for its amusement parks or arcades but Nodame had managed to find one at eleven o'clock at night. Shinichi knew the city very well but Nodame seemed to have a special nose for finding rare and usual places (or people) everywhere she went. They had walked (in Nodame's cased, skipped) a long time to find it, taken a taxi, and had gotten lost in the many alleys Paris contained but they found it eventually. It was a rare find, an arcade post under the moonlight and most of those playing were teenagers and younger children. Shinichi quickly wished they hadn't found it though.

Her dancing was awful. She had no rhythm for Dance Dance revolution. He was embarrassed _for_ her, just looking at her as her mouth set itself into that pout as she tried to coordinate herself into the different dance positions. She was the loudest of them all and all her weird noises, those he'd heard and ones he hadn't, came out in anger. How could she be so good at piano and yet suck so badly at dancing? Pushing her aside in irritation, he pushed his shirt sleeves back and taught her how a master does it. To some song random upbeat song, he wowed those around him, including Nodame.

With the moonlight and the dark, Parisian sky, Nodame clapped and giggled as he did the one thing he promised not to do. Not a single mistake was made after twenty or so minutes and Nodame was in near tears. She clapped and cheered for him, telling everyone in ear shot that it was her fiancée dancing. He threw a well placed dance kick at her waist.

"Muckya..." she whimpered miserably as she fell to the floor. She raised her eyes and saw that the large crowd was made up mostly women. Beautiful women whom all looked like the kind a man would love. Young, vibrant, normal…so unlike Nodame. Shinichi was too concentrated on the game to notice but she was sure he knew what type of women he liked and Nodame…well, she wasn't certain it was she. She had fooled herself long enough to think so but these days, when he came so late after practice but with a smile on his face, she thought maybe she wasn't it. He certainly didn't require her presence to be happy; he had music to do that for him.

What was she doing in Paris after all?

"You see? A pro before your very eyes—"

Nodame looked up to see Shinichi looking down on her. His arrogance immediately sobered when he saw her serious expression. She got up hesitantly but hissed through clenched teeth as pain raced from her legs. His eyes immediately went down to her knee where a small cut was bleeding openly. His eyes hardened for a moment before melting to sympathy.

"Come on, let's go get a band aid for that."

His hand grabbed onto hers as he led her out of the arcade and into the alleys of France. The inky sky was dark but littered with bright, winking stars. His hand overwhelmed hers; no matter how large her hands were, his were larger, more worn out with calluses as badges of honor. It was warm and comfortable, even if he was dragging her along to the nearest drug store. She smiled at the two joined hands and uttered a soft, contented 'mukya' as he pulled her along. His back was broad and his shoulders wide beneath the gray, formal shirt he wore. A man in every way, she couldn't help but sometimes feel less than a woman around him. But with the comfort of his hand in hers, she felt every bit cared for as he scolded her for being so careless. The soft wind blew against her face and neck, throwing her hair back like red tinted smoke.

Their night out officially ended as they got home, a pack of band aids clenched in his hands. He brought his medical supplies out as she sat down on his couch. She looked down upon his face as he cleaned her wound. Sharp edges all over, a sharp chin, sharp eyes, and long eyelashes…no wonder women always followed him.

He took great care of the wound, blowing on it as he blotted it with alcohol to cause her the least amount of discomfort, making sure it was completely clean before placing the band-aid on it. He glanced over it before getting up and sinking his fingers in her hair, messing it up completely—affection pouring out of him in the only way he knew how.

Nodame closed her eyes and though she felt contented, a dark cloud loomed over the comfort she felt from his hands. She remembered the women from the arcade and glanced over to Shinichi who was still rubbing her head as he sat down beside her. Nodame wanted only the best for him and she thought that she knew _she_ was it. But at other times, Nodame hesitated in thinking so surely and saddened at the fact that she might not be in the correct. She knew that though Shinichi had been the reason she came, she had to find another. It was more than sure that days like these wouldn't go on forever.

Yet for that moment, it did.

* * *

She slept over that night, thrown on the couch like a used towel while he lay on the floor beneath her. They had drunk too much for their own good but it had felt wonderful. After cleaning up their mess, he had taken out the wine bottle and put on music, waking the sleeping dog who soon joined in their ridiculous game of chess. Nodame didn't know a single thing about it and though Shinichi was trying hard to teach, the wine got to him as well. Soon, all rules went out of the window and the pieces were moving randomly about with new rules that Nodame had made but that surprisingly made sense to Shinichi. It could have been the fact that he was drunk as well. They felt at ease with the world. Shinichi had even sung a few stanzas of a song he remembered from when he was younger with Nodame at the piano as accompaniment though Nodame had been too drunk to remember what it was. They talked about complete garbage, no longer wanting to remember their duties with their occupation. The night ended somehow, unknown to both of them as they fell asleep. By the time Shinichi woke up, however, the lightness he had felt the night before left completely.

"Shit!" he cried out, sitting up too quickly and having the world go around him in a swirl, "I'm late!"

"Senpai…" Nodame mumbled and looked at him through the glare of the morning sun and the after effects of drinking. He tried to get up but he found he could only stumble and stumble he did.

"I need to leave," he struggled through his heavy tongue, still not up to par to speak comprehensively.  
"Let's go out again tonight, senpai," Nodame smiled, oblivious to his despair. It was one day he'd be late, after all. The world wouldn't end because of that.

"Are you insane?" he yelled, his head pounding painfully in his skull, "Music is my priority right now, not wasting time."

"Last night was not wasted," Nodame argued sitting up and finally focusing her eyes on Shinichi who scattered around trying to find articles of clothing and music sheets.

"It was," he mumbled, more to himself than to her, "I'm so stupid—I should have never agreed…"

"Senpai—" she whispered, hurt by his words, "Don't say that.""Leave, Nodame. I need to get ready."

Nodame's eyes traveled around the room, her mouth set in a saddened pout as she realized he was throwing her out.

"Never mind," he growled, taking his shirt off and throwing it on the floor. He made his way to the door, a fresh shirt already halfway on. He struggled to put on his shoes and with a loud creak, he went out the door and out of her sight. The door shut loudly behind him.

Nodame sat still for who knows how long. She was encrusted into the couch, unable to even breathe properly. As if released from some magical hold, she suddenly got up and looked around his place. Different from the one in Japan, his apartment bore resemblances of the old Chiaki she knew. His shelves were filled with scores, no doubt all of them written on. In the silence, she passed her fingers through the spine of each book and read each name. Sonantas, orchestra pieces, solos, all kinds of scores.

She had found it by mistake. A score book with no name, she was immediately entranced by it. She opened the first pages and her eyes swept over the piece, composed by a younger, more naïve Shinichi. His name was at the very first page with the date and signature neatly imprinted in the yellowing page. A difficult piece, she couldn't believe he had written at the age of 18. Still, it was kind of expected from Shinichi. He had made the piece for the entire orchestra but there was an uncertainty in the notes, as if there was something missing. Still, it was a sad, beautiful piece full of sorrow and anger over trying to explain something he couldn't quite obtain. She spend the entire day looking over it, bringing it over to her place and playing it in the air, not willing to hear those chords yet. She fell asleep amidst her garbage that night, the score tucked under her sleeping body, near her heart as her eyes finally closed in exhaustion.


	6. Chapter 6

Two days after their outing, Nodame answered the unexpected knock on her door to meet Shinichi's eyes weary eyes.

"I made food."

Nodame stared up at him for a moment in confusion. She still wasn't all there. Shinichi glanced at her incredulously.

"Why do you look like that?" he asked her, "Here."

He slapped the ticket onto her hand. A smile grazed his lips, a smile Nodame wished she could mimic.

"Come hear ore-sama's music," he commanded.

She looked down and nodded, accepting the ticket without any fuss. Shinichi ruffled her hair took her by the wrist, all but throwing her in his apartment.

"Sorry about the other day," Shinichi muttered, going over to the kitchen and getting the plates full of food. No one had gotten angry that he had come in late. In fact, most of them looked relieved that Shinichi was acting a normal human being instead of the robot he usually was. Still, Shinichi wanted to make this his great debut and mediocrity would not be acceptable. Nodame didn't say anything but her head was full of thoughts. She had spent the last two days pondering what was wrong with them. What happened to those times between them when things were a lot easier? Half of her wished that Milch would return. He always made things lighter between them.

"I have a concert two days from now," Nodame commented, trying to keep her voice light.

"When and where?" Shinichi asked, placing the food in front of them. His eyes traveled instantly to the score beside him.

"Avery Hall at school at six. I'll be the last one to perform."

"Saved the best for last, heh?" he asked her with a smile and though Nodame returned it, it was a half-hearted one.

"You'll come?"

Shinichi nodded.

"I'll be there."

Nodame ate in silence. The words wanted to come out and find the outlet they had been looking for but the uncertainty of what those words would do stopped her. She and Shinichi always walked a thin line between affection and commodity. Nodame loved him whole-heartedly and was not afraid to show him or tell him. Shinichi on the other had---well, there was affection, she knew that much. What other man would cook for her and clean up her mess and not reject her strange ways. But love…it just wasn't there…was there?

"Shinichi," she started, gazing down on her empty plate, "what do you think of us?"

"Huh?" he asked, raising his eyes to meet hers but found himself looking at her profile, her eyes downcast.

"Us," she repeated, "What do you think of us?"

"What kinda question is that?" he muttered, returning to his studying. The pencil began to slip out of his sweaty fingers.

"It's a legitimate question," she answered back, glancing at him quickly, "We've been together for a couple of years now and I still don't know what we are."

"We're you and I," Shinichi responded quickly, annoyed, "Let's just leave it at that."

"Why?" Nodame sighed, finally staring at his turned face, the food long forgotten, "Why do we have to leave it there? Is that all there is to us?"

"What do you want me to say?" Shinichi growled, letting the pencil slide to the floor, "That I need you or something?"

Nodame stared at his bobbing Adam's apple thoughtfully, her mouth pouting slightly in thought. She swallowed harshly.

"I've been thinking—" Nodame started, ignoring the unpleasant silence that filled the room. Shinichi spluttered in surprise.

"You? Thinking?" His voice was amused, not making fun of her but trying to liven up the mood. Obviously, it didn't work.

Nodame nodded seriously.

"I've been offered a place in a competition in Germany."

"Germany?" Shinichi echoed with wide eyes.

"Mmm," she hummed, her eyes inspecting him carefully, "I'll be in training for two months. If I win, I'll get a lot of attention from very important people."

"Two months?" he nearly choked on his drink, "You'd be away for that long?'

Still watching him with care, she nodded. Any sign would be enough for her. To make her stay. Just a little sign would be enough. Just one sign would move the world.

"That's a good experience," Shinichi said nonchalantly, his eyes looking down at the score beside him, "Plus you'll learn another language though I'm not sure if they have Puri Gorota in Germany."

Nodame nodded hesitantly. Her eyes grew weary of looking at his expression. A total blank, as if she didn't matter nor did he care.

"I dunno if I'll accept it yet," she continued but she looked away this time and missed Shinichi's relieved expression towards the score. He hummed in response, sighing softly at the relief he felt on hearing that. Nodame blinked the tears away and searched his face again. Anything….

But the time passed without a single sign.

"Shinichi?" she tried again, interrupting his train of thoughts. He sighed impatiently, snapping out a 'what!' at once.

"Don't you care if I leave for two months?"

Her voice was thin, breakable by the slightest touch. But he was just as fragile right now. He _did_ care but he would never show it. Neither he nor she knew why but he found other outlets for his frustration and fear that she would leave. Like other things in his past, he found it was easier to hide the emotions and not feel the pain that came when things didn't go his way.

"Nodame, I don't want to get into this conversation right now. I've had a long day."

"It's always a long day nowadays," she muttered angrily, "Why is it I'm always second in priority?"

"Cause your making it impossible for me to find anything good about you right now."

As soon as those words left his mouth he instantly regretted them. Not just because it might hurt her feeling but because they were completely untrue. He quickly made up the excuse in his head that he was tired and sleepy and didn't want to stick his foot in his mouth just like he just did at the moment but it wasn't enough. Nodame rarely spoke this seriously and the few times she did were the most important to him. He shouldn't have said that. The words were enough for Nodame though. Her face fell in one swoop, her hair flying like a halo as she turned for the door.

"What do you want from me?" he yelled after her, far angrier than he'd ever felt but despair started to creep in, "To tell you I need you? Ok, then I need you to keep me sane."

"That's just it," she yelled back and her face he recognized as the same one when she had told him to stop being chicken shit and go to Europe to become what he wanted to be. He had done that, hadn't he? "I want you to see me more than a pet you take out now and then. More than just hentai Nodame, more than just a habit that keeps you from going crazy—"

Tears rolled down her cheeks and though Shinichi softened at that for a moment, the same stubbornness that didn't allow him to move forward held him back once more. The door shut behind her with a loud bang and she disappeared from his sight. He flinched, staring at the closed door and scratched his head angrily. Was she really that blind as to not see what he felt for her? But then the memory of that spot on her neck came back and his last thoughts perished. Hell, did _he_ know how he felt about her? Without a doubt, some part did recognize the feeling but the other side of Shinichi, the one that seemed to always get him in these situations whether it was with Nodame or even Saiko overcame that recognition. Past examples of his mother and father and memories affected him; the way his mother and father had divorced echoed in his head and into the night.

He fell into an unfit sleep, tossing and turning in his bed. He could hear the piano playing from her room; the chords struck each other vehemently, as in anger before the sixths came in to whisper a melody of sadness. He recognized that feeling. He had felt it too, long ago--way before he met Nodame, when he too had the weight of the world on his shoulders. The sound was messy; he could tell she was in pain but he never imagined that it could sound so beautiful. It was haunting, eerily echoing through the wall and into his heart. He closed his eyes and heard the keys and imagined her playing, as always, passionately, dream-like, lost in her world. The image of slow moving black water shone on his closed eyes with every note she hit striking the water and creating white ripples that disappeared quickly, leaving its ghost behind.

'_Maybe it'd be better for him…' she thought miserably, 'Maybe it'd be better for me…'_

She had been the one he saw when he started having those weird dreams about his fear of flying. Because of her, only good things had happened to him. Somewhere deep in him, he knew she was responsible for where he was now. Somewhere, he recognized she had saved him from the impossible misery that had been willing to overcoming him.

_The Black Key was no longer there. The key had changed and struck Nodame like a bunch of bricks. The piece was completely ruined. _

He needed to apologize, he decided as he awoke the next day, his eyes snapping open. Now. He couldn't lose that girl.

But she wasn't home and the sounds of the piano had long stopped. He rang the doorbell until the others in the small mansion complained and still no response. He stared at the name tag on the door for what seemed to be eternity before he gave up. He hadn't even told her what he had been so excited to explain to her that night. That for some reason of his own, Bach's piece would be silently dedicated for her because constantly, it was her weird reasoning that kept him with fresh ideas. He should have told her that if she looks hard enough, all the signs of his affection are there. He was frightened that she might never be able to understand that.

* * *

"_Shinichi, you look glum_," Lebrecht smiled at the young man, his smile too bright for the question. He was drunk once more.

"_Not really_," Shinichi responded blandly, trying to make his teacher sit down at the bar. Lebrecht giggled like a high school girl with a secret, making Shinichi grimace at the man.

"_What?_" he barked in German.

"_Come here_," Lebrecht whispered, making 'come hither' gesture. Shinichi rolled his eyes. "_I have a surprise guest for you_."

"Eh?"

Lebrecht pointed behind Shinichi with a glint in his eyes. Shinichi turned around and his mouth hung open in total surprise.

"Maestro?" Shinichi whispered.

"Chiaki," Stressemann boomed in his deep, rich voice. His Japanese, even from just hearing his name, was as awful as ever.

"Long time no see."

Shinichi nodded, leaving Lebrecht to slam against the table as he left to say hello to his old teacher.

"I hate this city," Stresemann commented lightly as a way of hello, "All the Gentleman's Clubs are so expensive. I miss Japan."

"Oi," Shinichi deadpanned, "What kinda greeting…"

Stressemann took off his flashy raccoon coat and sat down, eyeing Shinichi carefully. He was still as strange looking as ever and the glint of perversion still shone in his eyes.

"Nodame-chan, how's she doing?"

Shinichi lowered his eyes for a moment before answering nonchalantly.

"She actually has a concert today. Will you be attending?"

"I'll buy a ticket with you," Stressemann answered off-handedly, ordering his drink, "But that's not what I meant."

"I know," Shinichi nodded, casting a glance at Lebrecht who seemed to be having a very serious conversation with the bowl of peanuts.

"We're in a small rut at the moment."

"Ho ho, a lover's fight?" Stressemann smiled, sipping his pink beverage.

"We're not lovers," said Shinichi automatically, drained. He was tired of saying the same thing over and over.

"Not lovers?" Stresemann echoed darkly, "You're sure making her wait a lot."

"What? It's nothing like that between us."

"Nein?" sang Stresemann but his look became deadly serious, "Then what are you doing to the poor girl?"

"Ha?"

Stresamann scrutinized his ex-pupil angrily. He felt too much for Nodame to have Shinichi play with her emotions. After all, Nodame was just as troubled as he had been once upon a time.

"That's what I said," Lebrecht muttered from under the table, speaking perfect Japanese. Shinichi's eye twitched violently.

"You could speak Japanese all this time?" Shinichi growled, eyeing the man darkly.

"He's going to become like me, right Franz?" Lebrecht said happily, totally ignoring Shinichi and patting Stressemann on his knee, "Like me and Grace. She went bye-bye. Angry bye-bye."

Stressemann nodded glumly, pushing Lebrecht back down.

"She's facing music head on for you Chiaki, and she has yet to be rewarded. What are you doing to her?"

"Why is it my fault?" Shinichi answered angrily, having just about enough of the conversation, "It's not my fault I can't return her feelings."

"Can't?" Stresemann asked, raising an eyebrow at his ex-pupil, "You mean, you won't."

Shinichi sighed, his hand going straight for his hair and messing it up.

"Have a drink Shinichi," Lebrecht giggled from Shinichi's left side, handing him a dark mix of heavy alcohols, "It'll be the first of many."

Shinichi looked at his two teachers angrily, getting up with a huff.

"I have to go see Nodame's concert."

"You do that," Stresemann said, not bothering to look up.

"Bye, bye, Shinichi," Lebrecht sang beside Stresemann, the smile intact on his face, "Remember and forget…"

Shinichi left the bar with a lot of bottled up anger in his chest.

"Forget—what the hell?" he muttered into the night sky and headed toward the University. Her music, he was sure, would answer a few questions.

* * *

Ref- Beethoven also had Nodame's special talent of seeing colors with music but in his case, he saw B minor as 'the black key.' 


	7. Chapter 7

"I've decided," her voice was distinct in its decision. Her teacher eyed her with a strange look but accepted her response. The young woman's eyes were puffy and red but determined, a look she had gotten to see just now from Nodame. Regardless of why, it would no doubt be good for her to get out of Paris and away from whatever she wanted to escape.

"I'll go to Germany."

With a set look on her face, she turned around and walked with her head held high unto the podium for her first and last performance in France. She bowed, her dark green with black satin dress swishing prettily across the floor.

Her nimble fingers swept across the black and white keys, striking each with confidence. He was watching, she was sure. Whatever fight they might have had, he would always attend her concert and this was her first one in France. She realized as she played that Beethoven was his favorite piano composer and though she felt as if she might break down any minute, she tried her best to let him feel all the love she had stored inside for him. She was sure this would be the last time she would be able to do so. But Nodame was prepared by now. She could be tough; she had to be. This was the real world now. She had no one to protect her anymore but her own self.

Shinichi congratulated her afterwards, rewarding her with high praise on her techniques and her perfect playing.

"Not a single note missed," he acclaimed proudly.

The day after her performance, everyone spoke all about her technique, the beautiful unearthly sounds that came from the piano, and the emotion she had played with. Her name was on everyone's lips, her feelings had touched everybody's, including _his._ The rage and frustration found its answer and release. She repeated to herself in every note that she'd be ok. She had talent, she would make it. She wouldn't let herself become her family's bad debt as her brother had once said. She would show all of them for once that Noda Megumi could stand on her own two feet and blow hem all out of the water. Most importantly, she would show herself that with or without him, she could become more than what she'd dream of.

Without him—the chord strung out—she would be alright.

* * *

"_Are you ready, Shinichi_?" Lebrecht asked. Shinichi nodded his head at him, passion in his eyes. He was geared up to go. Looking incredibly handsome in his suit and tie and hair spiked up the way he liked it, Shinichi looked every bit a conductor.

"_Should I ask if you are dedicating your piece to someone?_"

Shinichi thought about it for a moment and though his teacher was weird in many ways, he had a feeling he knew more than Shinichi thought.

"_Why?_" he answered instead and Lebrecht saw right through the question. The shield the young man held up was far too strong for him to be happy, just like Lebrecht had been once upon a time.

"_No reason. I just hope Nodame knows that's all_."

"Ah…" sighed Shinichi and the realization that he had been found out caught up to him too late. Lebrecht was already was by the door.

"_I wish you the best, Shinichi. I wouldn't want you to end up like me,"_ he shook his blonde head at the floor, sadly, gently, "_Not at all_."

Speechless, Shinichi could do nothing more than nod and watched his teacher's back as he walked out of the room.

The fierce lights from the hall blinded him slightly but he continued to make his way to the podium. His eyes traveled to seat 302, third row in the very center of the orchestra sittings, the very best seat in the house. Her hair was longer than before and slightly curled, perhaps she had done it for the occasion. He was sure that spot was showing just for him as well. She eyed him proudly, the previous fight forgotten for that moment. She smiled at him and he smiled back. He hoped she would understand what he was trying to convey. He had worked long and hard on this piece and at the end of the day, when she expressed her happiness at seeing him conduct and awarded him with some sort of strange price—well, that was all he really wanted. That's what he looked forward to.

He turned his back to her and picked up the baton.

Closing his eyes, he nodded more to himself than the orchestra and opened up the score to the first page.

From the first note to the last, he kept her in the back of his mind the entire time.

* * *

It was quite noisy backstage with loud praises on Bach's piece and even louder praises on Shinichi's conducting. He smiled and nodded nonchalantly at those who had come to congratulate him but his eyes were keen on the lookout for a specific person whom he found at the very back of the crowd. He excused himself from the multitude of people and made his way to her.

"Baka," he scolded her gently as he stood in front of her and wiped the tears that ran down her cheek with his long fingers. He seemed pleased nonetheless.

"I'm guessing it was that good?"

She nodded sadly, her hair tumbling down her shoulders. But even Shinichi, who was used to her tears after any performance of his, knew something was wrong with this sadness she exuded. He slipped his fingers under her chin and made her meet his eyes.

"Oi! What's wrong?"

Her eyes were now glossy but tearless. She bit down on her plump lower lip and looked away. Frustrated, he growled but his eyes caught the image of her Puri Gorota suitcase, fat and heavy by the doorway and frowned. Her teacher appeared on the doorway, holding the suitcase with one hand and a briefcase in the other. She made a sound of apology and entered the room.

"It's time, Noda."

His dark eyes looked down on her harshly.

"Time for what?"

"I've decided to go to Germany."

The words sunk in quickly enough but his mind refused to process it. Shinichi searched her brown eyes for something, anything to indicate this was a joke. Five minutes passed silently, as if the world had suddenly been muted by an unseen force. Five minutes…Shinichi could tell you this information many years from that day. Five minutes of long silence with the muffled sound of the audience gathering for the final performance. The hum of the air condition, the shuffling of feet, her sniffles--

"When was this?" he asked darkly, still holding her head up. Her eyes did not look away.

"A couple of days ago…"

"And you couldn't inform me?!"

"You were busy—" she looked down at her hands, "Besides, you said this was a good opportunity right?"

"Y—yeah," he muttered, grimacing at her words.

"And besides, I'm not really doing anything for you or myself in Paris so I might as well go to Germany," she faltered because she had looked away from him toward the small mirror on the back of the room. He could tell she was lying which made him far angrier than he had ever been. How was she not doing anything for him? Hadn't he told her she kept him sane!

"So you'll come back in two months, right?" he asked her through clenched teeth, the words tumbling out of his mouth seething with anger and part of him felt as if she didn't tell him what he wanted to hear, he would go insane and strangle her right there and then. But her expression told him enough.

"Maybe."

His heart sunk. It thumped so hard in his chest as if he had run a mile. His mouth went completely dry, so much that he could barely speak his next words.

"Why?" he whispered harshly, shaking her harshly against him, "Isn't it enough?"

She shook her head, the tears spilling once more.

"It hurts too much to continue being with you without…being with you."

"I told you I needed you right? What more do you want?"

The exasperation in his voice was all too evident. He really thought he was in the right. He _knew_ he was in the right.

"So much more!" Nodame answered loudly, "I want you to love me in more ways than for my piano—I want you to love me the way a man loves a woman but I just can't seem to be that woman for you, can I?. I can't keep up with you now. You fell out of my sight a long time ago--but I promise I'll be better. I promise."

She stopped to breathe. She dared not look up to him, not when she had said so much…too much.

"Maybe then…you can see me for more than just a habit," she ended gently.

"Do what you need to do," Shinichi said disgustedly, finally letting her go. The shield was quickly forged back into place. The faraway look returned to his eyes. He had better things to do at the moment. His final performance was about to start. She frowned, the tears still fresh in her eyes.

"I'm staying to watch your final performance, though," she whispered.

"Don't," he said curtly, "Just leave."

Nodame stared at his back as he walked slowly out the room. She would have jumped in his arms in a heartbeat if he had opposed her idea. But no such thing happened and no amount of hoping changed the fact that Shinichi had completely left her behind.

The score lay silently, regretfully by his dresser and it would be last thing he'd receive from Nodame. At the moment though Shinichi was too hurt to care. He deliberately kept his eyes away from the audience, especially the balcony where she was sitting. His eyes concentrated on the score and though he tried as hard as he could, the music didn't quite reach his ears. His mind was ever present at the figure that rose from her seat and stared at him, silently saying her good bye. Briefly, the world paused for the two and his eyes traveled upward to see her retreating back as she disappeared from h is sight.

His eyes stung and the orchestra played on.

* * *

Lebrecht offered the cup to Shinichi who drank it gratefully. The performance had been a success in every way. The applause had shaken the hall to its foundation and he knew he had made a great first impression. He had already gotten high praises from very important conductors who had come see the fresh newcomer and all of them were more than pleased.

Yet…his eyes had never stopped from looking for her above everyone's heads.

"_To forget and to remember_," Lebrecht said happily, his cheeks tinted red and he almost looked like a German version of Santa Claus. The soft piano music at the bar caught Shinichi's attention.

'_Sloppy playing,'_ he thought instantly.

Shinichi's eyes glossed over as he clinked his glass against his teachers and slurred the words over and over.

"_To forget and remember_."

* * *

The End...

Or is it?

lol, it isn't.


	8. Chapter 8

**5 YEARS LATER**

"Shinichi Chiaki, the orchestra's youngest and most talented conductor will not bring his wrath upon the Vienna Philharmonic today."

A nervous laugh rang throughout the orchestra. Truth is, everyone knew about Shinichi's regime. Tough and completely relentless, Shinichi was known as the Devil of conducting. He rarely smiled, never laughed, and was always serious about everything. He was a strange person, everyone in the orchestra thought so, but a genius nonetheless.

The main orchestras in Europe were made up of people that knew or heard about Shinichi because most of them had just graduated from the Rising Star orchestra in Japan. Mine had done an excellent job keeping the RS Oke alive and he sent various talents out into the world every year. Mine kept close contact with Shinichi though after he heard what had happened between him and Nodame, he had grown cold for a few months.

He hadn't been the only one. Stressemann stopped talking to him completely, Sakura had cried her heart out for her (over the phone to make matters worse) and called Shinichi all sorts of names but who surprised Shinichi most was Matsumi-chan. His perception of Shinichi fell hard to the floor and suddenly the man whom he had looked up as his sun was now lower than dirt. Shinichi thought he'd never seen the day when Matsumi-chan would tell him off so violently and unlike Sakura, face to face. Mine had been angry as well but he stayed connected with Shinichi.

"It's just like you to let someone like her go," he muttered angrily over the phone one day, "I knew I should have grabbed her when I had the chance."

Shinichi was tired of hearing the same disappointment on every one's lips.

His teacher was now Sebastien Viera, the one person Shinichi wanted to be taught under and to impress with his skills. His dream finally realized, Shinichi was at the very top of the most recognized names in Europe. At the young age of twenty seven, Shinichi had one of the best reputations of any of the newer conductors and many experienced conductors spoke very highly of him. He had never gone out of the continent though the New York Philharmonic had wanted him to conduct in several important events. He had denied them all though. His fear of flying had been overcome but for some reason, he felt no dire need to get near a plane. Instead, he traveled by train almost everywhere in Europe and even to Germany once. He had no intentions on having old episodes return so he left Germany as quickly as he could though he knew _she_ probably wasn't there anymore.

"Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto no. 2," Viera muttered, looking down at the score his pupil had in his hand, "A nasty piece for any pianist."

"Well," Shinichi tutted, "not if their any good."

Viera laughed, shaking his head disbelievingly. He had changed very little from what Shinichi remembered. He had actually been very surprise his sensei remembered him as the young student he once was. After all, Viera was a well respected conductor and had many students over the years. Still, as Viera had said, "_None of them left such an impression on me as you did, Shinichi._" Just as Shinichi predicted, he had not disappointed his teacher.

"You sure have high expectations, Shinichi," Viera laughed, "You've yet to approve of any pianist you've met."

Shinichi shrugged, a nonchalant look on his face.

"There isn't anyone you admire, besides yourself of course, who plays the piano?" Viera asked his pupil, leading him to the exit of the concert hall. Today was Shinichi's day off but he usually came to rehearsal anyways. Not today though. Viera was going to make sure he took some time off to himself. Shinichi sighed deeply as whenever the subject of the pianist came up.

"Just one," he muttered darkly but Viera didn't touch the subject anymore. He had long learned that his pupil, once so full of energy and happiness, had encountered a few rough bumps along the way; particularly a big one that had nothing to do with the fear of flight. He often wondered who had caused such a big void in his life but never went ahead to find out. Shinichi had closed off to that part of his life as best as he could.

"Tomorrow are the last two pianists you're going to see. You better pick one this time or I will."

Shinichi sighed. He had heard this threat from his teacher a few times already. It wasn't anything new. Viera studied him thoroughly. At such a young age, he already seemed to have gone through enough for someone barely three decades old. Though many spoke high praises of him, there was also rumors of his private life. He was said to spend too much time on music, so much that he didn't have much of an outer life other than the orchestra. Shinichi didn't think much of that because it was partially true. Other than hanging out once in a while with old friends he met along the way, he didn't really have anyone special in his life. Not even his first conducting teacher spoke to him. Now Shinichi only saw Stressemann on the television for some sexual harassment suit or another. On those rare times he'd gone out on a date, it was only to disprove the rumors that he wasn't interested in women.

But every woman he went out with had something wrong. Sure, they were all gorgeous with splendid figures and brimming with talent but Shinichi couldn't quite put his finger on it. They all laughed the same way, with their small, delicate hands covering their mouths. They spoke properly, without any hint of a dialect in a sophisticated manner. They were all careful with their mannerisms, never speaking of anything that might catch his attention or at least make him think. They were all so—normal.

But he didn't care at all and he didn't want anything that didn't have to do with but music. That was his only constant in life nowadays. Before, he could have sworn that _she_ would always be in his life as well. He had been proven horribly wrong.

Being kicked out by his teacher out of the rehearsal, Shinichi went back home as usual. He was greeted by Potato whom _she_ had left behind in his care. He scratched the dog behind his ears and lifted him in his arms, carrying the small dog to the couch. There, with the hypnotizing movement of his hands, the dog drifted off to sleep once again. Shinichi meanwhile stared around his apartment. It was bigger than his last one but he didn't see the need for such a large apartment. He was the only one living there, apart from the dog and it was the dog that enjoyed the space so much.

His CD collection took up an entire wall with rare recording from his favorite artists. _She_ was there too. He only found one CD of hers though she was very popular now. Her name was in every conductor's lips so even if he tried, he couldn't escape her. However, her only CD had been a child's CD with her own original songs and her original music. Songs such as 'The Fart Song' were featured and her latest one (one that Shinichi hadn't heard before) 'The Clean-up Song.' Because of that, she was a household name, whether one liked classical music or not. He wouldn't be surprised if her music had the 'Mozart effect' on children either. She had a way with notes and rhythms that he had yet to see again. Needless to say, the CD had done exquisitely well. It was the only way he had to hear her voice. She rarely gave interviews and her performances, though powerful and compelling never were recorded. At the beginning, he had gone out of his way many times to see her, never telling her he did so but he stopped that long ago. Her music told him everything he needed to know. She was doing fine without him, it seemed. Her music was perfect in every way. She possessed the piano as much as it possessed her and each note she touched vibrated through the air and into people's hearts in a way that no other pianist could say they could do.

In all five years, they hadn't contacted each other at all though he knew she must know about his accomplishments just as he knew about hers. Unlike her, he was featured on TV, in magazines, and had a few recordings out himself.

He could never quite put his finger on what had caused such a major rift and the days when he pretended he didn't care were completely over. He thought about it a lot. Still, the years had caused a kind of separation he couldn't get back from. And so, his heart stilled every time she was mentioned and the piano was no longer a comfort. In fact, he hadn't played in years. Like an open wound, it had become a symbol of pain so he never played or even looked at one if he had the chance.

Right under the unused piano lay a big box that he never even glanced at. While she left for Germany, he had been left behind to tell the landlord that she had moved. As a favor and apology on her behalf, Shinichi promised the landlord he would clean the place up for the next tenant. When he entered her apartment, he was shocked to see that she had left her most valuable treasure behind and were now gathering dust underneath his piano. Every Puri Gorota video, puppet, and merchandize was scattered all over the floor. Her kotatsu remained dirty on her table and everything that Shinichi connected to Nodame was scattered all over the floor. After hours of battling with himself, he picked up her most treasured valuables and put them in a large, single box. For those five years, he had yet to open the box again.

What Lebrecht had told him had been right. He both tried to remember and forget at the same time, an awful combination that drove him mad. Lebrecht had passed away two years ago of liver disease just as Shinichi had warned him. He couldn't help but feel the most utter sadness whenever he thought of his teacher, not because of his death itself but because of the desolation his teacher had felt. His own broken heart had pushed him over the edge and in the end, he died alone and saddened without the one thing he wanted most and only regret in his heart. Shinichi had found out a few weeks after Lebrecht passed away that the love of his life had re-married and was now happily the wife of a wealthy businessman and had three children with him. Her name had been Grace Lattimore, now know as Grace Whittaker. Shinichi was sure that Lebrecht had know all about Grace's life and it was because of his error (whatever that might be, Lebrecht never told Shinichi in detail) that Lebrecht died as alone as he did.

"_Live for someone_," Lebrecht had told Shinichi, "_Music is nothing when the one you want most to hear it does not."_

But Shinichi had long lost that one person.

And so, Shinichi immersed himself in music once more.

* * *

Shinichi woke up early the next day and made himself a small breakfast. He ate with Potato who happily munched on his breakfast as well. The dog had grown quite a bit and was still quite energetic. The apartment was quiet and neat—too neat. As he left the apartment (with the radio on to keep Potato company) he couldn't help but let out a big sigh Things were a lot calmer in his life nowadays. The streets of Vienna were beautiful, the air was crisp and clean, and people made their way through life easily. The sun was high in the milky blue sky and the rays of light shone down beautifully against the historic city. Wearing a thin white formal shirt below a gray T-shirt, he made his way quickly to the concert hall. He was to audition two Japanese piano players, according to his sensei. 

"The first one is in the piano room," he told his student along the way, passing through the halls of the old historic building. "She's been in Germany most of her time but she's gained a lot of reputation already."

"Germany?" he asked incredulously, the words hitting like cold water. Could it be…?

"Mmm…she has a great technique and incredible power on her fingertips. Perhaps you'll finally accept one of these girls as the orchestra's piano player."

The windows were tall and allowed plenty of sunshine to grace the inside of the building. Shinichi had long associated such movements with _her._

He had to hold his breath before he walked into the room. He wasn't ready to meet her yet but his sensei pulled him along, a smile on his face.

"Come on, she won't bite."

"If it's who I think it is, she might…"

His sensei didn't hear his muttering and all but pushed him inside the room. Against the early morning sun, a woman sat with her back towards them, dark hair in a bun whilst the rest curled downward. Shinichi didn't remember her having such hair. Her posture was impeccable as well; too rigid to be who he thought it was. Finally she turned around and though Shinichi was impressed by her beauty, his heart fell when he noticed it wasn't _her_.

"This is Midori Miyazawa," Viera presented the young lady to Shinichi and they shook hands amiably.

"I will be playing Haydn's Piano Sonata No. 52 in E-flat major," she said in perfect English.

Shinichi nodded and sighed quietly as she got ready to play. While he was relieved, he was also very disappointed but really—what had he expected?

The first notes echoed through the room and though the early morning sun wasn't as deep and as rich as the setting sun had been on that particular day he first saw _her_, it gave off a similar effect. The woman played beautifully, exactly as it was written with every note and every chord in tune with one another. Viera was thouroughtly enjoying himself, smiling and moving his hands back and forth but Shinichi had given into his memories. _She _had also been immersed in music, thouroughly dead to the world when it came down to half notes, dotted notes, C chords and the intesity of the piano. Each note held its own words that could only be heard by her incredible ears and Shinichi had been one of the few who had understood this about her. How she hummed everything she played, the way her mouth pouted as she concentrated on getting out exactly what she was trying to convey, the way she threw her head back slowly, enjoying the sounds emerging from the instrument, the way her fingers flowed like water throughout the keys—

The beautiful paino sonata came back to him—Beethoven's 'Pathetique.' Adagio Cantabile. Willfully, wistfully, as if singing. Each chord blended into each other, each sway of her body adding to the magic that was Beethoven's piano sonata. It had once been quite different from the 'Pathetiques' he had heard before but it was that very difference that captured him from the start. The legatos had been played staccato, the rhythm had been eccentric but passionate. And from some foggy part of his brain, he could hear it again. The notes were different, still poignant but they were louder, closer and correct. The sound rang around him, transporting him back when he was happy. Now he knew he had been happy, content with what he had. Only her 'Pathetique' could do that to him. The sound was crisp and clear and he couold almost hear her whispers that went along with it.

His eyes snapped open instantly when he realized that his memory could not make the sound so rich, so pure. His head snapped aorund as all his senses came back and Haydn's Piano Sonata No. 52 in E-flat major came at him in full force. Yet his hands reached for the door before his brain could catch with his instincts. He ran out of the room at full force, ignoring his teacher's shouts. He had to find that sound, the way it was beautifully played just like she had once. But the sounds were from afar and the notes were far too precise to be hers. Still, hee ran through the mahogany walls and beautifully furnished rooms; so different from his last search for her incredible music. The notes became louder as he got closer and the feeling intensified. At the top of the stage, on the far left there was already a crowd of people who were overwhelmed by her music but he pushed himself through and his eyes widened, his pupils dialated and his mouth went dry to see such a sight.

Though it wasn't spring yet, the weather was still considerably cool and yet she only wore a light dress. Pure white with blue roses scatered at the hem of the dress, she moved her white selnder legs back and forth as she hit on the petal with intensity. Her fingers were just as long as before, her hands just as big as ever. Her hair wasn't as short as it used to be; it reached just below her shoulders but it was the same auburn color, the color of autumn. Her body swayed with the music. Her eyes closed off to the world, and her mouth—that mouth.

The same idiotic pout that captured him from the very beginning was still intact. Pink lips concentrated on hitting the right emotions, glittering against the stage lights. It was mesmerizing, tragic, but amazing. He could barely contain the words that fell from his lips as he finally reached her, unaware that he had even been walking near her.

"Nodame?"

The beautiful poetry stopped as she turned around, her lips still in their pout, her concentration losing its fervor as her eyes narrowed in on Shinichi.

Her lips parted open and out of her mouth fell a whisper that she saved for her piano playing.

"Chiaki-senpai."

* * *

I wish my name was Midori…sorry, off topic. Yay, they are reunited but just because they're reunited doesn't mean it's happily ever after. Muahahaha! 

The Mozart Effect is said to stimulate your brain and even make epilepsy patients a little better. Such songs are mozart Piano Sonata for Two Pianos which Nodame and Shinichi played at the beginning of the Manga, live action, and anime. Cool, isn't?

I chose Rach no. 2 because I am positively, absolutely, and completely in love with this piece. For those who want to see THE BEST PERFORMANCE of this piece, please go to Youtube and search for 'Volodos Rachmanioff.' It should be the first couple of links. F F . n e t won't allow links...stupid site!


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the long wait. After FINALLY reading the manga and watching the special, my fic seemed to mean very little. It also hurts me how it doesn't follow the manga at all BUT for the sake of the story and the plot bunnies dancing in my head, I will finish it.

Anyone who wants to geek out with me over the special is SOOO welcomed to.

* * *

The rest of the orchestra around them looked to and fro, back and forth from the two as they stared at each other through a haze. 

"I guess he's not gay…" one of them said in a low voice but it broke the ice that build around the two.

"He's an old friend," Nodame responded in impeccable English, her voice shivering slightly.

"Omae…" Shinichi breathed, sinking back into his native language and astounded by the language that left her lips, "There's an _English _dub of Puri Gorota as well?"

"Eh?" she asked, shaking her head in confusion but after a moment she seemed to understand, "No, I took classes…"

"Shinichi!" Viera sensei yelled from behind him, running up toward the stage, "You left so suddenly. What could have been more important than listening to the girl's Haydn?"

He spotted Nodame at the piano and smiled suddenly.

"Miss Noda, I see you've captured our conductor's attention," he winked at her, "Not an easy feat for anyone, I tell you."

She smiled hesitantly, standing up and shaking hands with him. Shinichi immediately noticed her large hands as they were overcome by Viera's.

"Beethoven's Pathetique, if I'm not mistake."

"You are not, sir," Nodame nodded, smiling kindly.

Viera turned toward Shinichi expectantly.

"Miss Noda has just returned from America after playing with the New York Philharmonic," he turned to her with a cock of the head, eyeing Nodame with a smile, "Rhapsody in Blue, isn't that right?"

Shinichi's head immediately snapped to her, his mouth agape.

"Yes," she answered, looking down at her hands, "that's right."

"You performed Rhapsody in Blue?" Shinichi asked her, his mouth becoming dry for the moment. Nodame licked her lips, not meeting his eyes as she answered,

"Yes, a friend of mine invited me and I was already there for a concert so—I accepted."

"Of course," one of the spectators said, a French cellist who smiled at Nodame, "You're very popular, Miss Noda. Why wouldn't you accept such an opportunity? I myself have often performed with the Phil. Tell me, is Varkok still there because---"

"Don't you all have to be tuning?" Shinichi snapped instantly, becoming very annoyed quickly. The orchestra members looked a little shocked but they didn't speak back. They could feel the strange waves coming from their conductor and instead of wanting to cause a fuss, they nodded and went to their respective seats.

"Shinichi," Viera warned, "Have you gotten enough rest?"

Shinichi nodded, looking at Nodame who seemed to be genuinely concerned for him.

"You don't look so good, Senpai," she said quietly, "Maybe you haven't eaten well. You do have that habit…"

"I'm fine," he snapped, sighing after a minute. Viera took Nodame by the arm and smiled warmly at her.

"We're all used to his tirade," he joked, "It comes with all great men."

Nodame chuckled, nodding at the kind old maestro. Just as Nodame thought, he was a very lovely, gentle, and intelligent man. No wonder Shinichi always wanted to be at his best for him.

"Well, I think it's been decided that you will perform for us, isn't that right Shinichi?"

"Eh?" they both said, turning to look at Viera wide-eyed.

"She's the most famous and certainly most talented pianist I've ever seen and you are one of the most talented conductors of this age so it seems logical to have you two together, wouldn't you say?"

"Natural…" Shinichi trailed away hesitantly.

"I have a concert in a few days," Nodame said with a bow of her head, "So I may not be able to perform. I came here to tell you that the girl who was supposed to audition is a friend of mine but she came down sick and couldn't make it."

Nodame glanced at the piano hastily.

"I saw the piano and I couldn't resist but I'm not auditioning."

Viera sighed, shaking his head sadly.

"What a pity," he murmured, taking Nodame's hand in his, "You sure you won't reconsider?"

Nodame opened her mouth to speak but Shinichi cut her off.

"You'll be able to do both," he said with a determined nod, "You know the piece the orchestra's playing already."

Nodame turned her brown eyes on him as he spoke,  
"Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto no. 2."

He could see the wheels in her head turning as she remembered every note, every glance, every chord they played so many years ago.

"Perfect," Viera said happily, like a child who had just gotten the candy he wanted, "You will do it then?"

Nodame looked from Shinichi to the orchestra (who looked just as excited as Viera did) and nodded with the utmost hesitation.

"Then it's decided," Viera announced, "Miss Noda will be our pianist."

The orchestra smiled and commented on their luck but Nodame kept her eyes on the door of the hall, as if wishing she could just run out and escape.

"Megumi…" his voice drifted toward her, low and serious. Her eyes, though covered by her hair at the moment, went instantly to him. He was about to speak to say who knows what else but the Hall doors opened and a man all but jumped in, waving his hands at Nodame.

"I'm here!" he announced happily in Japanese and Nodame's face turned into pure relief.

"Aki-kun," she breathed and turned to Viera. She bowed respectfully at both him and Shinichi

"I have plans today, I'm sorry."

Though Shinichi was about to protest, Viera cut him off quickly.

"Go on, Go on but remember you're now part of the Orchestra. Shinichi and you will work out a schedule to suit you best, yes?"

Nodame swallowed.

"Yes."

Viera smiled and made a 'go on' gesture with his hands. Nodame excused herself and jumped off the stage, almost tripping to get to the young Japanese man.

Shinichi's eye twitched.

The man wore a light blue T-shirt though the weather was still cool, probably to show off the big muscles he had, Shinichi thought darkly. He was Japanese as well but he had the flair of someone who took great care of himself. Groomed to perfection, the man smiled at Nodame who smiled back, looking up at the towering man.

"I found the greatest Sushi restaurant ever," Aki informed her happily, making Nodame gasp in pleasure.

"In Vienna?" she slurped with hunger, "Let's go!"

Taking his arm, she skipped next to him while he kept a stream of lively conversation. As they exited though the bug wooden dolls, Aki looked down upon Nodame worriedly and tucked two fingers beneath her chin, making her look up. He asked her something but Shinichi couldn't quite figure out what since the doors closed, hiding them from view. Shinichi thought his eye would fall off from so much twitching.

"I should have known she would have a boyfriend," the French cellist sighed, "What rotten luck."

Shinichi glowered over the orchestra. He needed to take out his frustration and his surprise on something—or someone.

"All right," he shouted, stepping onto the conductor's podium, "Let's get started."

The orchestra noticed the mad glint in his eyes and cowered in fear.

"From the top."

* * *

Though Shinichi had insisted to be there for the schedule planning, Nodame had called Viera secretly and set up days to meet with the orchestra without Shinichi. When he found out about this from his sensei, anger was not even the word to describe what he felt. But Shinichi had a great knack for hiding his emotions and instead, the orchestra endured the worst days of torturous practice they had ever received. Still, it was nothing to what Shinichi was feeling. 

Five years were an eternity, no matter how he looked at it. Pure stubbornness had deterred him from calling, from apologizing, from doing anything at all to get her back. The intricate workings of his mind were certain that he had no fault in any of this mishap between him and Nodame and that he could certainly handle himself fine without her. Five years of doing so had proven his intelligent mind correct.

But those five years had also proven just how much his heart reigned over him, perhaps more so than his brain. He found himself reaching out over the bed for someone to grab, the companion that was always there but instead he often grabbed a tuft of brown hair and received a licking from Potato. Though a necessity, food wasn't as pleasurable to the palate as before. Even small habits he had acquired, like always checking through the bathroom door to make sure Nodame wasn't video taping him, were now long gone and always remembered.

And now that she had returned, she didn't want to speak to him?

Shinichi threw the baton down on the stand. The orchestra stopped playing and looked at him expectantly.

"Is she coming at all today?"

The orchestra members dared not speak. As if hearing his call, Nodame burst through the doors of the hall and scurried in, her heels making a loud resounding noise through the room.

"I am so sorry, I overslept—"

She threw her coat on one of the chairs of the auditorium and all but jumped on her seat by the piano. Shinichi turned to glare at her and while the rest of the orchestra flinched simultaneously at his evilness, Nodame simply gave him an apologetic smile and placed her hands upon the keys. Shinichi mumbled something under his breath and picked up his baton again.

"We're professionals," he said lowly, "I expect you to act as one as well."

Nodame nodded but continued to look up at him. Years of the receiving end of his death glares were not taken away so easily. He turned to her again and contented himself with looking at her as she started the piece.

What had once been a reckless fortissimo was now a beautiful, slow crescendo from pianissimo to fortissimo. Winding the emotions already, the chords rang out through the halls, calling, pleading and accepting in return the sounds of the accompanying orchestra. Rachmaninoff 2 started and ended and started again, pausing mid way, hesitating at parts, broken at others as Shinichi yelled his instructions to the orchestra but her piano never wavered. It flowed seamlessly through his instructions and adapted itself to the conductor's demands.

And though it wasn't the first time he heard her play or the first time she followed his instructions, her style had grown beautifully. He closed his eyes unknowingly and sighed. He hadn't heard her music so intimately in such a long time. His arms flowed with the movement required of the piece but his heart had been completely overtaken by the sounds of the sparkling notes, each of them perfect…far too perfect. He opened his eyes to see her concentrating on each sound but unlike other times, her eyes were terribly focused, her fingers too stiff.

"Stop!" he yelled and the spell was broken. She looked up at him, the concentration fading instantly. Shinichi was about to speak when the doors burst open once more and Viera walked in, the man accompanying Nodame the other day right behind him.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Viera smiled, opening his arms wide at the orchestra, "But Miss Noda is late to her rehearsal."

Nodame gasped and looked at the man behind her to reconfirm this. Aki nodded glumly as he picked up her coat. Nodame jumped up from her seat and bowed to the orchestra and its conductor, apologizing for the rush. Aki helped her put on his coat and placed his large hand on the small of her back, guiding her out of the room. Shinichi suddenly found himself extremely irritated and jumped down from the podium, all but shouting at her,

"Is it going to continue like this?"

Nodame turned around suddenly, her eyes not understanding him at all.

"Rehearsal, I mean?" Shinichi muttered, his hand going to the back of his head, massaging the tight muscles there.

"Just for today," she responded simply, "I've made plenty of time to rehearse with the Orchestra."

Shinichi nodded slowly, looking darkly at the man beside her as they walked out of the room.

"You don't look so good," Viera commented after a few minutes of silence, "Are you feeling well?"

"Could you step in for me today?" Shinichi asked, resolution now forming in him, "I left all the notes in the score—"

"Yes, my dear boy," Viera chuckled, taking the baton from his hand and clapping him on the back. Shinichi turned to look at him earnestly.

"Could you tell me where she's rehearsing at the moment?"

"Miss Noda?" Viera asked, surprise written all over his face. Trying to understand where Shinichi was coming from, Viera nodded and informed him. Shinichi thanked him quietly and left the hall as well, leaving the orchestra to sigh in relief and Viera to ponder why his pupil had suddenly seemed to have life breathed into him again.

* * *

Shinichi waited four hours under a hot sun and a cool breeze for Nodame to exit the recital hall. He could scarcely make out her music but it served as a good background for his thoughts. Like before, he found himself going searching for rather than letting her go. After five years, did she really have nothing to say to him? 

When she exited, the man he was starting to have murderous thoughts of exited as well. One glance at his direction and Nodame knew she was in a strange night.

"Senpai…"

"Can I speak to you—" he started, casting an evil glance at the man beside her, "in private?"

She nodded hesitantly and smiled at Aki, telling him she'd see him tomorrow. Aki was obviously displeased with this arrangement but let her go nonetheless. As his footsteps resided, Nodame fiddled around with her bag, a nice brand name bag that didn't suit her at all.

"Coffee?" Shinichi offered quietly.

Nodame smiled slightly.

"Yes, please."

* * *

"You've been doing amazingly," Nodame chattered away, as if nothing had happened in those five years. She kept up a healthy stream of conversation but it all seemed too disconnected for Shinichi who couldn't find a second to pause in and get to the point. 

"When I went to America, I heard rumors they wanted you as their guest conductor but you refused though I can't see why, it's a great opportunity you know."

She breathed in her coffee and continued her speech. For his part, Shinichi let her speak as much as he wanted. He was glad to be able to watch her habits again. The way she roughly held her tea cup, her large fingers fumbling to fit as much food as she could in her mouth, the way the wind blew past her hair, revealing a long, white slender neck. That spot winked mischievously at him, greeting him in a rather shocking nature.

"Nodame," he breathed out, trying to get his bearing back, "Hush already."

Nodame stopped halfway through her sentence and bit back the rest of her comments. A few moments passed as Shinichi gathered his thoughts and she drank her coffee.

"Your Rachmaninoff doesn't sound as it did before," he commented lightly. _Stay on sturdy ground,_ he thought through the layers of his mind, _be professional._

"How so?" she frowned, looking down on her hands, "I think I play it quite well."

"Yeah, according to the score and everything but it sounds so---solid, so---"

"Well, I'll take any advice from my conductor," she smiled, finishing her coffee. His hands were sweaty. _Damn it! He couldn't hold back any longer._

"Who's that bodyguard guy always behind you like a puppy?"

"Eh?" she hummed, confused by the quick change of topic, "Oh, Aki-kun…"

_Autumn…what a stupid name for a guy…_

"He's my manager," she told him, staring out to the street.

"Only your manager?"

Nodame noticed the strain in his voice and turned back to him. His eyes were strangely focused on swirling the spoon around his coffee.

"Yes," she answered him, unsure of what to make of it. He seemed satisfied with her answer.

"Besides, he's dating Matsumi-chan at the moment so he'd kill me if I tried something."

Shinichi choked on his croissant, earning a concerned pat on his back from Nodame.

"I didn't know—"

Nodame chuckled.

"You haven't spoken to Matsumi-chan, have you?"

Shinichi shook his head, taking a sip of his tea.

"They're all really angry at me."

Nodame gave him a warm glance.

"I could talk to them if you want. They shouldn't be so angered at something that doesn't really concern them, right?"

"About that—" he started but Nodame quickly cut him off.

"That's the past," she said sagely, "It's no use trying to figure it out. You and I have taken different paths and it's made us into stronger people, ne?"

She smiled at him, kindly, like a mother speaking to a child.

"You've become the very person you were striving for all those years right?"

Shinichi dared not answer such a question. _Had he really? Was this what he wanted to become? To come home to an empty house save for a dog as a companion?_

"It was all for the best."

He grabbed her wrist roughly, keeping her eyes locked into his with intensity.

"Come back to the apartment," he said roughly, somehow wanting for things to go back to how they used to be. The way she talked to him was too detached. It wasn't Nodame.

"Eh?" she answered.

"I'll make a good meal, full of your favorite things."

Her answer was quick, practiced, without a hint of hesitation.

"I'm ok. I need to get back to my apartment."

She stood, brushing off imaginary dust from her skirt.

"It was nice talking to you again, senpai."

She left a few bills on the table and bowed her head at him before turning around and exiting the café. She walked without a missed step and without a look back when all Shinichi could do was stare at her as she was lost in the multitude of people by the park. Once she was sure she was out of sight, she leaned against a mural and let out a deep sigh. Her head was hurting from the effort to be anyone but Nodame in front of him. She was someone else now, she told herself, far more mature than Nodame had been.

But the stinging behind her eyes let her know…_Nodame still existed and was still yearning for senpai somewhere in her.

* * *

_

Nodame doesn't seem like Nodame right?

That's the point..duh..lol

Please review.


	10. Chapter 10

The lights of France cast long shadows over the room and the noise from the lively streets was strangely comforting to his ears. Potato growled at something in his dreams from beside him; the habit of sleeping on the same bed as Shinichi was incurable now. Shinichi, on the other hand, was wide awake, his eyes glazed over. How she could act like nothing had happened between them was inconceivable to Shinichi. He felt like an idiot for suffering (no, not suffering, reminiscing. He still had his pride to hold on to, damn it) all those years with memories of them—of her.

That night, while immersed in his somber thoughts, the phone rang quite suddenly though Shinichi was not expecting a call from anyone, much less the person he heard on the other line.

"Chiaki," the voice of Stresemann boomed out, "I haven't spoken to you in so long!"

"Wonder why," Shinichi countered but his former teacher chose to ignore this comment.

"How's Nodame-chan?" he asked flippantly but Shinichi was too used to the maestro's tactics by now to understand his schemes.

"She's practicing her piano as usual."

Stresemann scoffed on the other line.

"Of course, Shinichi. I mean _how is she_?"

"Have you spoken to her?" Shinichi asked incredulously, rubbing his sleepy head with his hand, "She's weird…well, weirder than usual. I don't know what going on in her hard head."

"What do you mean Shinichi?" he sang out happily, the noise in the background (laughing women, pleasurable moaning, the works) indicated where he was at the moment)

"Nodame's acting exactly how a person should act," he continued joyfully, "there's no weird noises coming from her anymore, her playing is impeccable, she's a real lady now. What more can you ask for?"

"I knew it!" Shinichi cried out, pointing an accusing finger to the air, "This has Milch Holstein written all over it."

"Ja ne compredez trios, Shinichi," Stresemann said innocently, successfully butchering the French language, "Nodame-chan is acting on her own accord. I had nothing to do with it."

His giggle though, gave his lie away.

"Stupidity—" Shinichi muttered, running his long fingers through his hair, "I'm going to get Nodame back so don't stand in the way, old man."

His threat went unnoticed to Stresemann.

"It's not me you have to warn," he spoke seriously, for the first time since the conversation started, "I'm afraid your relationship with Nodame has nothing to do with outsider meddling. Maybe you should think about that," he ended sagely.

"Yeah yeah," Shinichi mumbled and without a single air of regret, he hung up the phone. He sighed impatiently, too annoyed at his maestro to even fathom the significance of his words.

* * *

Practice continued as usual with Nodame leaving the moment it was done. Strangely, Shinichi despised this more than not seeing her once in five years. She was purposely ignoring him which only made him angrier and far more stubborn than she ever was. If she wasn't going to say anything to him, then he wouldn't either. But her piano, as incredible as it was, sounded stuck to him. No one else noticed; no one else could. Only he knew Nodame's real sound. And that was enough of an excuse to drag her by the arm toward the nearest park one day, throw her down on the bench and glare down at her with the best imitation of a strict teacher. 

"Oi," he started angrily, his face a mask of annoyance, "What's that crap flowing from your fingers?"

"Geh!" she grunted, obviously taken back by his accusation, "That's not crap—"

"It is. It sounds so stiff. What's the matter with you?"

She mumbled something under her breath, definitely not any language he knew. He sat down beside her, allowing himself to look her burrowed frown, pink lips, and long eyelashes.

"I'm playing according to the score," she answered quietly, "Isn't that what sen—Chiaki wants?"

"No, I want you to play it however you want to play it."

Nodame looked up at him with a dead serious expression before bursting into giggles.

"I can't do that," she said with a nonchalant wave of her hand, "You once said that no orchestra could follow me if I played the way I want, remember?"

Shinichi stared off at the dusty pavement, his feet shuffling like the movements of a small child caught in the act.

"I can," he deadpanned, looking up toward the moving trees. The wind, though warm and quite enjoyable, was strong and roughly played with the branches of the fragile but stubborn tree.

Nodame stared at his profile and held back a smile. _He hadn't changed much._

"Mmm," she hummed in agreement and held out her hand, "Agreed then."

Shinichi stared at her hand for a long time, as if inspecting it before grabbing on to it and shaking it.

"Well, we should really—"

"Let's grab some lunch," Shinichi interrupted and this time, she didn't wait for her answer. He grabbed the same warm hand she had offered and led her off into the nearest restaurant he could find. Under the shade of the trees in an outdoor restaurant in the park, Shinichi all but forced her to sit down and order her meal. Giving up with a sigh, Nodame waited until Shinichi ordered before speaking.

"Je voudrais ordonner l'escargot, s'il vous plait," she spoke fluently, the words leaving her lips just as quickly as her native language, "et une tasse de café, trios cubes de sucre."

The waiter nodded and left, leaving Shinichi dumbfounded and staring at Nodame. He hastily ordered his meal as well.

"I thought you hated the escargot—" he trailed off, unsure of what to say after hearing her impeccable speech. Nodame shrugged, placing her hands on the table.

"In Germany, I stayed with a teacher that loved escargot. He used to eat it every day," she commented, getting a far off look in her eyes, "He gobbled it down like chocolate. Guess I got used to the taste."

She chuckled, the memory obviously a good one. Shinichi nodded but while Nodame fell into an easy silence, he couldn't help but realize just how far away Nodame seemed to be. As he had always thought before, she had always been close enough for him to reach for her when he needed her, discard her when he didn't. Now, she wasn't anywhere in his radar anymore.

The waitress came back with the orders, settling the plates down quickly and quietly. As Nodame sipped her coffee, the atmosphere suddenly tensed up (or at least, it did to Shinichi).

"After your concert and the orchestra's, will you be leaving again?"

Nodame looked away, nodding fairly quickly, auburn hair jumping against her shoulders.

"The Czech Philharmonic Orchestra has invited me to perform Chopin's first piano concerto with them so I thought it would be a good thing—"

"But you dislike Chopin, don't you?"

Nodame shook her head, popping the escargot in her mouth.

"I've learned to really like Chopin though it's only a few specific songs I like."

Shinichi nodded, trying to understand where she was coming from but he couldn't. He was getting a little frustrated with her. She was too different and he didn't like it at all. He decided to bring the conversation to a place he found himself comfortable with.

"There was a commercial yesterday, " he started conversely, "that a Puri Gorota marathon is running on today."

Her eyes flashed for a moment with excitement but it was so quick that Shinichi thought he must have imagined it.

"Do you want to come over and watch it?"

Nodame set her coffee down rather heavily, looking down at the swirling mass of black.

"I have to practice for my concert so I can't…"

Then, as if catching herself saying something bad, she quickly announced,

"Besides, I'm too old to be watching that."

She smiled brightly at him,

"Thanks, though. You remembered."

Shinichi frowned, nodding but he zoned out as she continued her one sided conversation on how lovely the day was.

"Enough, Nodame."

Her lips stopped their incessant movement and a familiar look on her face appeared.

"Let's leave it at this then," he muttered, knowing very well she knew what he was talking about. How could she not?

"Ok, Chiaki."

A definite answer, with no struggle and no defense on her part. It _was _enough.

"Damn it, Nodame. Stop the act!"

He stood up rather suddenly, knocking the table and making its contents spill to the floor.

"This isn't the Nodame I know. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong, _senpai_," she muttered darkly, eyeing her broken coffee mug angrily, "I'm the way I am but whether its this Megumi Noda or simple hentai Nodame, it never seems to satisfy you, does it?"

Her large hands slammed against the table, successfully making a bigger mess of things.

"I gave up on trying to impress you a long time ago," she yelled towards the coffee spilling on the floor then angrily looked up to him, her eyes full of rage.

"Arrêtez d'agir comme un tas de merde et laissez-moi la paix!"

She stomped on the ground with her foot and hit Shinichi's foot by mistake. She didn't care though as she swept around and stomped off, a smoke trail behind her.

The Parisians talked amongst themselves, eyeing Shinichi glumly but now that he had seen her finally be herself, he worried about another thing.

"Oi!" he cried out after her, "What about the bill?!"

* * *

Nodame's fingers flew furiously over the keys. Each note struck held some insult toward the one person she loved the most and at the same time, the one person she wanted to kill the most. How _dare_ he treat her like that? She was quite content with her life; why did he have to appear? Regardless, she knew this day would come. No matter how big the world was, fate just seemed to put him in her way. She had almost not played Rhapsody in Blue in America for fear that he may be the one conducting. An odd thing to fear really, since that had been her fondest dream. But now all she had were memories and she intended to keep it that way. 

Five years without him had made her fiercely independent and though every now and then she longed for his smell and food, she kept telling herself it was for the best. After all, he was now a big shot conductor and she was in her own league of piano players. So she had a huge motive to do what she needed to do and leave as quickly as humanly possible.

But today…

Today, she had smelled him again. Musk, cologne, a hint of mahogany—the smell that drove her senses wild and for a moment or two, she found herself giggling idiotically to herself. Her giggles sobered quickly as she remembered the reason why they weren't together anymore. She had been right to yell at him. He had treated her like crap and she wasn't going to take it anymore. Then again, a nasty voice in her head said, he could also be incredibly sweet. Apart from herself, he was the only one who could keep up with her in many aspects of whom she was. She had yet to meet a man like him.

"Mukya…" she reverted back to herself, letting her head fall against the piano keys, the thunderous notes ringing in her ears.

"Puri Gorota is on tonight, huh?"

* * *

The man didn't give up. He had decided, after paying a hefty amount of money for the damages at the restaurant, that he would throw his pride to hell and let it rot there. He would be damned if he was going to get rejected by NODAME out of all people. After throwing his stuff around the room, scaring Potato a great deal with his yelling, and making a horrible dinner (which Potato took greatly to heart; he wouldn't sleep in the bed with Shinichi that night) he decided that he would make her see that this _Megumi Noda_ she became didn't hold a candle to the hentai Nodame she truly was. 

Her piano playing was as horrendous ass possible but only to Shinichi's ears. Everyone else thought she was magnificent though they didn't let Shinichi hear. Every day he bombarded her with instructions, each as radical as the one before.

"Your fingers are too stiff!"

"What kinda feeling is that?!"

"I can hear each note too clearly. Blur it like before!"

Nodame gritted her teeth and did as was told. The orchestra members offered the compassion she needed afterwards but after every possible rehearsal, he grabbed her roughly by the arm and made her play the entire thing over and over again until they both were too exhausted to argue.

Viera sensei often came to these Nazi-like rehearsals and offered his warmth to Nodame but even he could do little to help her. However, one night, he made the conscious move to bring two bottles of wine for them.

"To drown your sorrows down," he winked at her kindly. It was enough. Both of them soon became too inebriated to continue the lesson. Instead, as they exited the hall together, Shinichi got the great, drunken idea to finally get Nodame home.

"Ikimasho!" she yelled out, stumbling down the sidewalk. Shinichi smiled behind her, his own stupor letting it get the best of him. He grabbed her arm and dragged her to his apartment, singing along to her Onara Taison song, each word slurred into the next.

"POTATO!"

The dog jumped instantly at her, wagging its tail furiously as soon as the door opened.

"I've missed you! Yes, I have, oh yes I have!"

"Baka," he sung, patting her head, "the dog's not the only one who's missed you."

Nodame spluttered into Potato's fur, her face currently lost in there somewhere.

"Senpai's the baka! Senpai doesn't miss Nodame. Senpai's doing fine by himself."

"Senpai is not," he declared, staggering to the couch, "Senpai has had too much time on his hands."

He looked down on his hands to prove the point.

Nodame walked unsteadily to him, propping herself on her knees placing her hands on his legs.

"Senpai, have you missed Nodame?"

He nodded heavily, his cheeks red with the wine's spell.

"Then senpai should say so," Nodame nodded, looking toward Potato for reinforcement which she received by way of a tail wag.

"Geh—well—there's this---muki---"

His muttering lowered in volume as his head dropped down toward his chest, his eyes getting heavy. Nodame frowned, poking him repeatedly on his thigh.

"Like always, Shinichi never says it."

He aimed a slap for her head but hit empty air instead.

"Baka…" he muttered again, his voice deep with honesty, " 'course I missed you—"

Nodame stared at him blankly for a couple of minutes before giggling fiercely.

"Shinichi said it!" she sang happily, "Shinichi said it!"

When she got no response from him, she turned her heavy eyes to Potato who happily agreed with her. The world became blurry to her but it was ok. His words, though now a bit distorted, send her off into a very pink dreamland.

* * *

Needless to say that when they both woke up to their sane selves, the night's after effects weren't as pleasant as they thought. Very awkwardly, Nodame lifted her head from Shinichi's thigh and smiled blearily at him. His pants were covered in drool. 

"Good morning," she mumbled, rubbing her sleepy eyes, reverting back to Nodame mode before she realized it. When she did, her head spun with disappointment. Her face clearly showed her confusion at being in Shinichi's apartment, something Shinichi caught on to instantly.

"You want breakfast?" he barely finished his sentence before Nodame cut him off, rejecting his offer as she scrambled for her shoes. Shinichi watched her discomfort quietly, wondering if he had ever seen her _this_ eager to get away from him.

It saddened him.

Had he pushed their boundaries this far with his stubbornness, his inability to show what he felt? Without a word, Nodame burst through the door of the apartment, scrambling to get out. Shinichi sighed and messed up his hair even more. He cursed himself quietly and stared at the once again empty room.

* * *

_Je voudrais ordonner l'escargot, s'il vous plait et une tasse de café, trios cubes de sucre_- I will order the escargot and a cup of coffee, three sugar cubes please.

_Arrêtez d'agir comme un tas de merde et laissez-moi la paix!_- Strop treating me like shit and leave me alone ( in peace)!

I've been immersed in my own piano playing these days so updates are slow. Review please!


	11. Chapter 11

My piano tests are OVER!!! Wah!! But unfortunately, it left me with writer's block. That and the plot bunnies in my head have mated or multiplied or something and now I have another Nodame story in my head that I desperately want to do. I shall finish this one first though but…geh, they're killing me.

* * *

Rehearsals were bad throughout that week but Shinichi let her go without any harassment from his part. He was starting to think that maybe Nodame really didn't need him anymore and he was sure that he could easily let her go. With those thoughts planted firmly in his head, Shinichi went on his merry way, trying his best not to think about _anything_ that had to do with her. 

But he saw her every day.

And he heard her piano every day.

Heard her speak and laugh (but never any of her weird sounds which he was sure he had heard that night she was drunk)

He had all but given up on her when Nodame timidly came up to him one day and, while shuffling her feet, asked him to please feed her that day.

"I left my wallet with Aki-kun and he's temporarily gone back to Germany."

Shinichi didn't think twice about it.

"I guess," he said, feigning indifference but a voice inside his head (which sounded strangely like Nodame's mom) screamed 'Goal!'

They had yet to speak for more than a few minutes but now the opportunity presented itself to get down to get down to it. Shinichi had decided, as any great conductor should decided, to stop chasing around the bush and get what he wanted. It also helped that he received a phone call from his mother the night Nodame left.

"Is that you again, old man?" He had braked at the phone, "I don't have time for your foolishness—"

"It's your mother, Shinichi."

"Geh," he grunted, scratching the back of his head. He felt tired.

"I heard you met Nodame-chan again. Is that true?"

Shinichi hummed, closing his eyes and leaning against the wall. He wanted to sleep so badly.

"Are you trying to patch things up?" she asked sternly, making Shinichi flinch in annoyance.

"Why should I always patch things up?" he asked indignantly though without the strength in his voice, it sounded flat.

"Because it's mainly your fault."

"Thanks, mother."

"Shinichi, you _have_ to fix things with her. That girl is your savior."

Shinichi opened his eyes wearily, the image of Nodame wearing white robes and embraced in a white light hovering around in his head.

"My savior?" he repeated dubiously, "Are we talking about the same Nodame here?"

"Shinichi—" his mother began hesitantly and she was rarely hesitant when it came down to speaking to him, "I don't want to tell you this over the phone but I can't get to France quickly enough."

She sighed, pausing to take a breath. He listened intently.

"You're so much like your father, Shinichi."

His mind drew a blank. The words were heard, registered, processed but Shinichi couldn't think of what to say, think, or defend himself with. His mother continued.

"The tendencies are there. How you think, how you act and react to those around oyu, especially those who care for you. Saiko couldn't take it. Nodame tried her best but in the end, even she had to take a break from you."

She sighed again. Her voice dropped to the same tone it used to when speaking to his father when he came back home after long nights.

"Get her back, Shinichi. For your sake as well as hers."

The line cut off and the dial tone beeped loudly in his ear. Even after the line was transferred to an operator, Shinichi didn't lower it. His mind was in another plane of thought. Nothing seemed to penetrate it except those words.

_'You're so much like your father.' _

Needless to say, it had affected him in more ways than one. Everything he had done to her came back to him with the comparison that in fact, his father had also done the same to her mother. Without a single thought to how his wife would feel, he left for months on an unexpected tour only to come back for a few days which served only for fights between them. Shinichi remembered everything clearly now but he had conveniently forgotten it when he did the same thing to Nodame.

A black cloud seemed to follow Shinichi everywhere for those days. No doubt the orchestra noticed; he made mistakes during rehearsal, completely unacceptable from him and strange as well. As much as he tried not to let it get to him, the words echoed relentlessly in his head. He had become the very person he hated the most.

Nodame noticed it from the moment he stepped foot on the conductor's podium. His eyes were far away, he held the baton the wrong way, and his movements were lazy and slow. After a couple of days of watching him, Nodame decided to do something about though as she told herself often enough) it was only because they'd know each other for so long. She was over him, after all.

So she lied that she lost her wallet and invited herself for dinner, feeling very relieved when he accepted it.

Back at his apartment, she nervously sat on his western table, fingering the fork and knife, Potato sleeping firmly on her bare feet. They didn't speak as he cooked, both not knowing how to start the conversation. She almost wished they had been drunk again. The food smelled delicious, drawing a quiet 'hauuun' from her. Surely, he was cooking a feast with all those delicious odors. Mouth watering and stomach growling, she was greatly relieved when he served the dishes. Potato dug into his plate as Nodame and Shinichi ate together for the first time in years.

"It's so good," Nodame moaned, holding back from putting her usual amount of food in her mouth.

"M'glad," Shinichi mumbled. He was still too far away from her.

"Eto…your conducting has been in the pits these days, Shinichi," she mentioned casually, causing the eye twitch she had been hoping for.

"What'd you say?" he growled, eyeing her angrily.

"What's wrong, senpai?" she asked, unnoticeably going back to her old ways, "The music sounds like crap. Even the orchestra noticed."

Shinichi looked away, putting down his fork in anger. Nodame kept eating, keeping an eye on the man who now seemed to slowly be getting closer and closer. If there was something Nodame knew how to do it was to bring the man back down to Earth and since it only required her to be her own annoying self, she happily did it. Besides, she thought happily, it had been a long time since she had seen that nerve pop on his temple.

"I thought my playing was top notch," she mumbled through her stuffed mouth, spewing small bits of rice, "But Shinichi seems to be stuck. Is something the matter?"

Shinichi glared at her.

"You're no one to tell me I'm doing a bad job. The piano sounds congested; don't give me _top notch_!" He threw a carrot at her but she surprisedly caught it in her mouth.

"So it's Nodame's fault?" she asked, watching him pick up his fork again.

"Yeah," he instantly answered, "I thought I told you to play how you wanted it."

"Well," she started, knocking the lettuce out of his fork and stealing it. Shinichi growled. "I've been working hard on playing by the score," Nodame continued, "So to let go seems to be a little harder than usual."

Shinichi growled again as Nodame stole most of the salad from the shared plate.

"Oy, leave some for me."

"Haiiii…"

"When is your concert, by the way?" Shinichi asked, munching his food. He felt like it was old times and he desperately did not want to ruin the mood.

"Two days after ours," she responded muffled, large amounts of rice stored in her cheeks, "Then I'll return to Germany."

Shinichi coughed loudly, almost choking on his food. He turned to look at her, surprised and a bit aghast.

"So soon?"

Nodame nodded, looking away.

"I want to perform that piano concerto—"

Shinichi wanted to say something, anything to make her change her mind there and then but as always, that part of him held him back; the very part that Nodame made him feel he didn't want to listen to anymore.

"Let's make out concert a good one, ok?" she asked him, a bright smile on her face, "After all, this is the very reason Nodame took up the profession, ne?"

The impact of those words couldn't have hit him harder than it did then. That day came back to him, when she had wistfully told him they were to be the golden pair and perform concerts all over the world. He whispered her name, causing her to cock her head at him. It made her nervous for Shinichi to look at her with such intensity. He never had before.

"If there's a way I could convince you not to go, would you stay?"

"Senpai," she smiled sadly, "There are some things you can't go back to."

"This isn't one of them," he assured her. The mood was about to be spoiled, he knew.

"Nodame's not sure she can take it anymore, Senpai."

Her voice was sad, tired, so unlike the Nodame Shinichi knew. She fiddled with the food on her plate.

"Then let's start again."

Nodame gave a little chortle which kind of annoyed Shinichi. _He was trying to pour his soul out here!_

"Do you know what went wrong last time? If you don't know that, how can we start over again?"

There it was. His chance to say it. He mustered all his courage, gathering the pant leg in his nervous fist to hold himself firm as he said,

"That's why I need you."

Nodame's sad smiled slid off her face, her lips parted in surprise. His voice had reached low tones of honesty and the image of the low keys of the piano appeared in her head. _Honesty_, they meant. His eyes which usually held annoyance or anger towards her now held something drastically different. The Shinichi she had known so long ago had changed; not matured yet but was certainly on the edge of maturing. Nodame breathed silently, a pink tint coloring he cheeks.

The loud, overbearing silence was suddenly broken by Chopin's _La Polonaise_. Her cell was ringing. Nodame fumbled for it, he hands shaking nervously.

"You're late for rehearsal!"

His voice was loud enough to make her wince. Nodame held the phone away from her ear.

"Aki?"

"Get your butt over here. We're rehearsing the pieces today as well."

"Hai—" she said absentmindedly. She cut off the conversation and excused herself. He watched her quietly as she prepared her things to leave, petting Potato kindly on the head.

"Thank you for the food," she bowed a little to him before scurrying off again. The door shut quietly behind her, leaving Shinichi to slam his head against the table, exhausted by the emotional turmoil in him. _Geh, did he really need all these feeling_? he wondered hazily. He got nowhere in the end. Had she really given up on him?

But then a small ray of light shone through the dark veil surrounding Shinichi. _Wasn't Aki in some other place at the moment? _And though his face now hurt from being slammed against the table, he smiled regardless. She had lied to him about the wallet incident.

Maybe it wasn't all over yet.

_Coda_, Shinichi whispered.

* * *

Coda- musical symbol. It means that one returns to a specified place of the score and repeat it once more. In this case, our lovely pair will go back to the beginning or sort of the beginning…I'm muttering now. 


	12. Chapter 12

To say that Shinichi was in a better mood the next following days was a major understatement. Practices went smoothly, with or without Nodame's presence. Her Rachmaninoff was not the only piece the orchestra was performing but they had taken more time with it since Nodame was well known through the classical world. Their conductor was as demanding as ever but he was nicer about the whole situation, calmly asking the violas to raise the pitch or for the flutes to not squeak. It was overall a pleasant atmosphere to work in for once.

The orchestra found their conductor and Miss Megumi chatting quite often and in a very laid back manner though a thin veil of reluctance always seemed to creep in their conversation. When it did, they would laugh it off nervously and find their way back to common ground. Whilst Shinichi seemed to be searching for something or someone in Miss Megumi, she rather seemed to want to get away most of the time. It was the topic of much gossip amongst the orchestra members who found a new side to their hell driven conductor.

Miss Megumi, on the other hand, found herself immersed in her piano. Both concerts were drawing near and at last, she had finished all her pieces and was now merely playing them over and over again. Her fingers had become extremely loose, her posture was perfect for playing—she had all the makings of a great pianist. Her pout was no longer there (though when it suddenly appeared, she made sure to bite her lips and return to normal). She was trying to stay away from Shinichi after rehearsals because he was not acting like Shinichi at all but rather like Eto-sensei when he wanted her to take his lessons. Senpai, of course, knew all her weakness and though she had sworn off Puri Gorota and any other weirdness that she used to have, he made sure it was impossible for her to escape.

Whilst they chat, they seemed to sink back into the old days and more than once she had already mukya'd at some random thought she had while speaking of something or other. She had been rather surprised that he was going to such lengths as taping her favorite cartoons to win her back. Aki-kun tried to convince her that not many guys would repent after so long and urged her to get back with him.

"Believe me," he added knowledgably, "I've looked everywhere for someone like that. If anything, it's always me apologizing to Matsumi-chan. You know, the other day, we said we were going to try something new but as soon as I brought out the chains, she just…"

Nodame nodded, pretending to hear about the disastrous adventures of her friends but she was too busy trying to find the logic. Nodame wasn't the smartest person but she wasn't an idiot either. She was fine the way she was now. No more trouble from her, no more misadventures with dirty old guys she met on the street. She was yet another talented artist who received her share of praise. She didn't Shinichi to make her return to the way she was. It was because of that which made their relationship fall apart. Now she had her own reasons to play piano, she could defend herself in the world—she didn't need senpai anymore.

"—so her hair was on fire and I thought, you know, kinda sexy but she—"

"I need to practice now," Nodame interrupted, going over to the stage and placing her slender fingers over the piano. The first note rang through the hall as music flowed from her body and into the empty recital hall.

* * *

The only day off the orchestra had was Sundays but thankfully not even Shinichi could fight a national holiday. So that Monday, on the First of May, France celebrated Fete du Premier Mai where every street was filled with people in light clothes, food was served everywhere, and a cheery atmosphere entered every human being. For once, the atmosphere entered Shinichi who had (very nonchalantly, of course) accepted Nodame's invitation to give her the tour of the festive city.

The streets were usually not packed with cars except for major holidays but on this day, there were rarely three or more cars to be seen. Everyone chose to walk tot heir destination under the rich sun, the cool breeze, and the smells of food and excitement in the air. As usual, Nodame carried three different types of food in each hand but her eyes went everywhere. The decorated trees, the flowers blooming, the huge amazing buildings…they all made her feel incredible. Parisians were kind by nature but on that day, when happiness seem to radiate from everything, Nodame found the kindness of strangers to be the best thing in the world.

She danced to a small brass band playing by the park and made Shinichi spend a lot of money on various sweets, meat on stick, and any other kinds of delicacies she found. Late in the afternoon, they took to drinking and the raucousness of Paris took over. The smell of food, the sounds of laughter and singing—it felt delicious.

Pointing and laughing, it seemed to be a scene out of a movie. The usual banter between the two continued and though he called her a 'baka' repeatedly and she reverted back to clinging to his arm, they chose not to notice the comfort they felt. It was clear to each of them. No matter how much they fought it, they had missed each other. Simple and clear as they day in front of them.

But as everything in life, the good times came to a stop as day was overcome by night and the lights of the city turned on. Illuminated by man made energy, the city was still as lively as before but night revealed things that day seemed to gleam over. Extremely full and a little drunk, the two made their way back to the metro, laughing over the latest stupidity that had come out of Nodame's lips.

"Thank you, senpai. I had a good day."

Shinichi smiled, watching her as she fumbled through her bag and found what she needed. She headed over to the train station but his arm held her back.

"Don't go back to Germany," he said clearly, thanking the wine God for the fogginess of his mind.

She laughed, making Shinichi's eye twitch.

"I have to, senpai. It's a very good opportunity for me."

"You could have many great opportunities in France as well," Shinichi countered, leading her to a more secluded area. The sounds of the festivities were too loud for him. The parade on the other side of the street was starting to come too close.

"I have nothing to keep me in France," she retorted a bit forcefully, her words aiming to hurt him. She too had been visited by the wine God and her words had hit its target.

"I'm no one, I suppose—"

"Not that," she grumbled, looking down at the ground, "Nodame can't take being with senpai anymore. Today was fine. Tomorrow will be fine too but at the end, you'll end up hurting me again and I'll end up hurting senpai too."

"Vicious cycle," Shinichi murmured, letting go of her arm. Her eyes raised to meet his, a smile on her face.

"Maybe later, when Senpai matures a little."

Twitch. Twitch.

"Me?" he repeated and then shouted, "MATURED? I'm not the one who dressed up as a mongoose a couple of years ago!"

"Bring that up, will ya? Well, Senpai has the emotional capacity _of _a mongoose!"

"Who are you calling a mongoose?" he exclaimed, poking her chest hard. She tried to slap his hand away but missed, hitting air instead.

"Are you saying that you feel nothing for us anymore then?"

Mentally, he congratulated himself on being so straight-forward but at the same time, he wished he hadn't been.

"For the first time, Nodame is thinking of herself as well senpai," she replied, a bit angrily but she reminded herself that what she was saying was true. She wanted to be happy too.

"So are you happy now?" he asked, as if reading her mind (_damn you, senpai_), "You don't miss us?"

"I'm ok," she responds instead, because she cannot lie and because she knows exactly that senpai knew it.

He calls her on her bluff.

The parade reaches them and the sound of laughter overtakes them. People mill against them and the crowd goes wild as the parade reaches its crescendo in front of them. People laugh and hug each other as the horns of the small orchestra on the float blare. They wish Shinichi wasn't like his father and Nodame wishes she wasn't the way she was and they both wish they could go back to how they used to be but of course none of that happens. The parade continues on, the people continue to be cheerful around them and Nodame takes her leave.

The concert is in two days, Shinichi realizes as he watches her disappear through the doors, then her concert and then she'll be gone. Talking had done nothing for them.

Maybe he had to resort to what he knew best.

His music.

* * *

She looked very pretty, everyone told her. The color suited her well. A nice shade of pink with a design of black flowers across the lower sides of the dress. She greeted and thanked them but she had merely picked out the first thing she saw. A pink ribbon kept her hair away from her face and pearls hung from her ears. A small necklace completed her performance outfit but she couldn't have cared less. She was more nervous than she had ever been in her life. This was, after all, her first concert with Senpai. This was what she had always dreamed of. Her goal up to a point.

Her hands were sweaty so she instantly panicked. They would slide off the keys, she realized and went to the bathroom in search for anything to help her. When she didn't find anything, she went into the nearest dressing room and searched high and low until she found deodorant. Not thinking straight, she applied it to her hands. Sighing in relief, she realized she now smelled like a man's armpit. She sighed, running her hands through her hair in frustration and growling when she realized what she had done.

The door opened and her eyes met his, something they hadn't done since the festival.

"This is senpai's dressing room?" she asked timidly, watching him nod nervously. He came around her, going to the mirror but he took a whiff at her and frowned.

"I'm not going to ask," he said quietly but after looking at the annoyance in her face, he chuckled.

"It's almost time," he told her, getting the tie out of the drawer and fumbling to put it on. She nodded, watching him and fidgeting. She should leave, she knew. Yet, the realization that this might be the last time she spoke to him hit her hard. Maybe she could stay a little longer.

"Damn it," he cursed, glaring at his tie. He too was nervous.

"Here—"

She walked over him and took over. She heard his gulp and smiled. This was so not like senpai, she thought amusedly. Had five years really changed him so much? Yet he was still unafraid to study her features when he had the chance or to be amazed by the way she played the piano.

"Play the piano as you want," he reminded her, his voice barely a whisper, "Don't give me mediocrity."

"Never."

She smiled up to him and something in her snapped. He looked down on her tenderly, almost—no, but that couldn't be it. Still, she had spend those two days between the festival and today losing sleep and thinking more than she had ever done in her life. Nodame was thinking of herself, right? To make herself happy, right? She was happy without Shinichi, right?

"I'm coming to your concert," he told her gently, smiling widely at her pleasure.

"Really?" she asked, excitedly, her fingers mastering the strip of cloth below his chin.

"What made you think I wouldn't?" he asked, a small crease appearing on his forehead.

"I thought senpai would be angry that Nodame's leaving," she said seriously, focusing a little too hard on his tie.

"That's no reason," he commented lightly and pulled her hair lightly. She held back a smile. She continued to work on his tie in silence but her mind was too excited over the fact that she could smell him and touch him and have dirty thought in her hair again. She almost wished she was _undoing_ the tie along with other things. She giggled.

"Oi!"

"Eh?" Nodame grunted, looking at his dissipating tenderness only to be replaced by annoyance.

"What kinda of tie is this? It looks more like your hair after not washing it for three days."

He slapped her hands away, trying to undo the three knots she somehow made and was now successfully choking him.

"I thought you could make a bowtie!" Shinichi grumbled while Nodame panicked.

"I thought so too."

Eye twitch.

The door opened and a man poked his head in.

"Five minutes."

Eye twitch.

"Eto… here!" she yelled, running at him with a pair of scissors, successfully scaring him to death. She tried cutting it off amidst his complaints that he couldn't breathe anymore. The scissor though seemed to be no match against the three incredible knots. After a bit of arguing and a cut on his Adam's apple, Nodame successfully cut the killer tie off.

"I've got no tie, Nodame!"

"Eto…" she said again, her hands instantly going to mussle her hair and she suddenly got an idea. She took off her ribbon and hand it to him.

"Hai, senpai."

He looked down on it. Eye twitch.

"It's pink."

"Hai."

He almost snarled at her. The door opened again and the man poked his head in again.

"It's time!"

His eye was successfully about to fall off.

"Let me do it senpai—"

Her face collided with his hand and was pushed as far away from him as he could. He tied the ribbon as best as he could and looked at himself in the mirror.

"Very nice," Nodame commented lightly, stopping beside him, smiling at the sight of the two. _At least they matched_, he thought tiredly. He yanked at her hair, not in anger but rather tenderly.

"You'll be the death of me."

She smiled happily at that.

"Let's go," she said pleasantly and did not say anything as he pulled her by the hand.

The concert was about to begin.

* * *

I really feel like I'm struggling to write this story. I have two other ideas in my head that won't let go of me so I might just end this story quick and simple and get started on the other one. I have found out that my first story in a new fandom is almost always not good. Please expect the next story to blow your socks off. 


	13. Chapter 13

All right. I write this now because if I don't, I'll never get around to it. College is now officially torture for me which means that this story has been getting postponed for a few millenia now. This isn't the best story that I have written but I did want to finish it.

I am planning (or at least the bunnies in my head) to write a MUCH better one but that one will have to wait until I write my thesis paper (ahh!!!)

Thanks for the patience and nice reviews though I'm not too proud of such a story.

* * *

_Rachmaninoff Indeed_

_Review by Nancy do you define the power of Rachmaninoff's piano concerto #2? Well, both Shinichi Chiaki and is orchestra as well as the new pianist Megumi Noda has shown us exactly what it means. Not only were they perfectly in sync with one another from the very beginning but Miss Noda, who has constantly shown her exceptional skill with difficult pieces, gave the audience a band new look to her music. Playing as if possessed, she ran along the piece with an ungodly speed and yet every note and every intent of the composer's will was heard throughout the hall. I was not surprised to see people in tears as they came out of the building; I was one of them as well. _

_For someone as young as Miss Noda to understand the deep darkness Rachmaninoff felt and in return be able to mirror that to the audience is proof that she is the next great pianist. Shinichi Chiaki has also shown himself to be worthy to bear the title of the main conductor of the Vienna Orchestra. To match Miss Noda's passionate playing with his own was not only a great task but he was able to maintain the intense emotion from overpowering the audience with his gentle conducting, a great difference from his previous works where he left the audience stunted by the harsh emotions behind his selected pieces._

_The piece begins with the utter depression Rachmaninoff felt after receiving the horrible feedback after his first piano concerto. He went into a state of despair and depression which are reflected in the start of his second piano concerto and a feeling that shook us in our seats as Miss Noda made us feel the full extent of her own personal pain----_

Shinichi turned off the laptop and stared off into space, too tired to keep reading. It was a great review after another, page after page of compliments. Shinichi felt proud of course but the reviews couldn't quite put their finer down on what had happened between them. Shinichi had been true to his word. He had conducted how he felt, gently accompanying Nodame's piano and directing her when she became too out of control. The orchestra realized that they couldn't take their eyes off Shinichi lest they would be completely lost and they were glad to have taken their conductor's words as true. They had memorized the entire concerto in just a few days.

But they had entered their own world by then. She put every tear she had cried into the first notes and every sleepless night into the first movement. The second movement was more of a self discovery, trying to find out where they were and where they fit. The piano was the main attraction in the second movement, playing dreamy, cloudy like chords of unearthing the reality of what had become of Nodame and Shinichi. And she was quite apparent of how much Shinichi was also putting his all into his conducting—not that he rarely did. Shinichi prided himself in putting a piece of his soul in each piece but this time, he poured everything he had into the music. He weighed heavily against the outpour of notes and lyrics that flowed out of both of them. Almost in a spiritual stance, they ricocheted off one another, in pain, in anger, in sorrow and even in love, the perfect harmony of her piano and his orchestra send shivers up their spine. It made her eyes blur against the white keys and her stomach tighten into a knot. Yes, she could feel what he was trying to say. She hit the low D sharp in anger. He couldn't stop her though. Again, the lower notes rang heavy through the air of the second movement and the flurry of keys afterward were reckless with emotion. Yet he calmed her with the flow of violins and the soft accompaniment of the rest of the orchestra, soothing her aggression with a gentle touch.

Shinichi sighed. He hadn't heard or seen her since that day but he would today. It was the day of her concert and though he wouldn't be face to face with her, it was better than nothing. Those damn feelings, he realized, were getting the better of him. He had the ticket in his pocket and had been nervously handling it all day. He was sure that she felt his true intentions; she had responded as powerfully as he had. The reviews were proof of that.

His plan for the night was planned out. 'Code mission: Mongoose Surprise Attack' was already under way. Shinichi wasn't as weird as Nodame. He didn't have a brighter idea than to play his strengths which were of course his good looks, his way with words (harsh as they may be) and in the end, if he had to force her to understand and see the way he saw it. He wouldn't say mushy words like 'I need you' or 'you complete me' because he'd rather kill himself than to do that.

His hands had blurred the words on the ticket when he handed it to the nice looking fellow by the entrance of the hall. Ignoring the weird smile the guy gave him, he went in and tripped his way to his seat. Hair slightly disheveled and his usual attire wrinkled, he sat down amongst the big crowd who chattered excitedly like a thousand bees in a colony. He didn't have to wait much for the recital to start.

Nodame soon came out wearing a simple normal looking dress when Shinichi had expected yet another Anne of Versailles character. She looked tired, almost lonely as she bowed to the audience and turned to walk to the piano. Shinichi was not used to seeing her so plain, so tired, but he knew once those notes started to play, Nodame would come out. As always her gaze rose to the heavens, as if asking or pleading for something before she placed her slender hand son the keys.

Her first piece, one of the hardest for any piano player was Beethoven's Hammerklavier. The piece starts with a series of fortissimos B-flat major chords and windles down a road of notes that return to the beginning. It is a strange piece; composed by mostly sad, sorrowful melodies interjected with a sort of happiness in between. It is exhausting and tiring to play the entire piece and it takes a huge amount of emotion to play it without seeming untrue to yourself. But she manages to touch everyone's heart the moment she starts playing and Shinichi doesn't miss the tremble in her pout as she strikes the final chord of the third movement and moves on to the fourth.

He looks around him and is not surprised to see the audience completely enthralled by the display on stage. Many of them are crying, too many are holding back their tears, and many just seemed to be stupefied. She is, after all, a different entity when in front of the piano. She becomes the piece itself; the notes pass through her body as if carry the emotions to everyone else. She plays the notes and much as they play her and as his vision get blurry and her last chords strike, the audience lets out an audible multi-headed sigh that makes Nodame chuckle on stage. She breathes in and out, cleansing herself before she starts another piece.

This one is lively,inhumanly quick Chopin's **Heroique** polonaise, and her toothy grin is as shiny as the notes she plays. It has a dance like tune to it with a reoccurring theme that disappears and appears suddenly. The harmonic notes send a thrilling chill up the spine and his legs starts tapping with the music without his notice. Her smile is a lot brighter after her last song and her hair seems to wink at the audience. He notices that she has bathed recently. The thought makes him chuckle.

The theme reappears suddenly well into the fourth or fifth minute and her chuckle is heard echoing with the music, possibly the most beautiful thing the recital hall has ever heard. It transports everyone into a world that's as exciting and as hyper as she is but Shinichi can't help but wonder what goes on through her head as she shakes her shoulders as she laughs at the music or rather, with the music. Her enjoyment infects everyone.

The song ends but everyone is happy and energetic. She rises and bows to everyone, accepting the microphone a man below the stage hands her.

"I am sorry," she starts in French, "that I must end the night with a sad song. However, I hope that when you leave the recital hall, you will know that I have come to a conclusion that will affect me rather closely and you have all helped in making this decision."

She bows again and Shinichi all but slides down his seat. He dreads her last song cause somehow he knows what her decision will be once she starts to play.

His eyes close slowly as his ears recognize the first few notes and he gulps the huge knot in his throat. A frown appears on his handsome face and red tinted eyes open to see her look down upon the keys as she plays another Chopin. His eyes fill with unshed tears as he mutters the song's name.

'_Tristesse_'

* * *

"Shinichi."

The wind carries his name toward him.

"Nodame can't stay," she tells him sadly, taking his hand in hers. He's unable to meet her eyes.

"The concert is very important," she continues, "It can help my career a whole lot!"

Shinichi nods heavily. He sighs, expelling the air like toxic. His hands reach out and grab her behind the neck, pulling her closer to him. He presses her face against the fabric of his shirt and she all but faints on the spot. He smelled good and he felt good. She wondered if she could sneak in a hand under his shirt at this moment of weakness. She smiled idiotically at the thought.

"Will you come back home?" he asked hoarsely from somewhere in her hair. Nodame felt her knees buckle. _Pugi_, she had returned to her old, hentai self in a matter of seconds just by hearing his voice and she realized that she had missed all of this. No matter how much she hurt, times like these were definitely worth it. Even if all she had were times like these, she would certainly be happy. Already after a few seconds in his arms and it already felt like a weight had been taken off her shoulders. Nodame wasn't settling; she knew how he felt but even she needed a reassurement every now and then.

"I will," she answered and heard him sigh deeply against her hair.

"I'll tell you one of these days," he promised, holding her tighter out of embarrassment or something else.

"Just wait."

Nodame laughed.

"Been waiting for six years, I can wait a few more."

He pulled her hair to silently quiet the thought and pulled away.

"I'll treat you to dinner," he said roughly, holding her hand secure in his. She gasped and jumped up and down.

"I want sushi and crabs and urchins and those little desserts that melt in your mouth—"

Shinichi smiled widely as he heard her blather on about food and other things that he wasn't sure about. He let go of her hand and held her around her waist which he quickly wished he hadn't since she wiggled and jumped and laughed against him but he held her all that much closer and basked in the night of Paris with a woman he couldn't imagine himself without.

"—and then when I tried it, it smelled like Shinichi's feet—not that I would know from stealing your shoes and smelling them constantly…"

* * *

Bye! 


End file.
